My very wise Mrs.

I’m not big on conflict. Even when I have the occasional argument around the house I tend to catch myself and let it go. My wife is usually, (read 99.9% of the time) right anyway, and my kids are really good kids with good hearts. 

Not much is worth fighting about.

Not much gets me amped up at all really. Maybe sports, particularly hockey, but even there I don’t yell and scream at the television like I used to.

When I need to advocate for my kids though... that’s when it’s on. I am a very protective Papa Chow, and I will do whatever I need to do to take care of my kids. All of them.

Which is where I think this all started. I’m not going to go into all the sordid details, but it lasted about a week, involved an incredible amount of discussion and in the end, once I knew things were taken care of, it was over.

I thought.

I’m realizing though that it wasn’t over. Not by a long shot.

I’m realizing that being in that defensive mode has carried forward and I’ve been putting up some walls.

I’m realizing that for a person who doesn’t usually know how to say: “no” I have been subconsciously saying: “leave me alone.” Emphatically.

Easy things have become complicated, even difficult, and that just doesn’t need to be.

When I woke up this morning, this all hit me like a ton of bricks. By the time I had arrived at work, or about 2 hours later I had some clarity. I’m still working it out because it’s still new, but it’s time to take those walls down.

I told Netter the other day that I thought “Skinny Jim” seemed like kind of a jerk, or an ass. Which probably was the beginning of recognizing the walls, now that I think about it.

She told me that was not the case, that I just needed to stop over extending myself and learn to be more patient, particularly with myself, and that the timing, (with the weight loss) was just coincidence.

Wise woman that Netter. Don’t you think?