Enough

Be forewarned - this is not your usual Jimmer post.

No, today I’m a little warm, a little hot around the edges, a little well, exasperated. No, actually I’m just a touch pissed off, and baby I’m here to rant.

I came into January this year with great intentions. I’m not a big resolution guy, but I’m also tired of seemingly always talking about and thinking about the same changes I need to make in my life. So, as January dawned on this year of our Lord 2011 I was pretty psyched to tackle some action items and make some real changes, some real adjustments, and... and...

It’s February 1st and I don’t feel like I have accomplished one damn thing, and I’ve only got one thing to say about it.

Ready?

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!

Alright I almost feel better. Thank you.

Now, I’m not going to be  deterred. I am going to stay on track I am going to make those major changes THIS YEAR! I will talk about all of them and about my assessment in the coming days. I will roll it all out there and keep working, but I had to take this pause, this moment. I just got back to some kind of normal yesterday and while I spent the day hunkered down, being comfy in my fav sweatshirt I also resolved that it would be the last day I would let weirdness even think about being in charge. I am in control, and I am tired of screwing around. Last night when I got home, I got back to work and I’m staying on that path.

I just need a couple things:

I need my dog to be healthy. He is the best, smartest, most communicative dog I have ever had. Hey Big Man upstairs or whoever is in charge - Mulligan didn’t do anything to you. If  you are pissed at me, take it out on me, but please stop fucking with my dog. Can I say that? Well, I just did.

I need to stop being free.

From now on outside of my house there are only a handful of people who get free tech support from Jimmer’s computer shop. They are My Mother-In-Law, My good friend’s parents who are a lot like my parents and / or have at least shared and taught me that much, and my nephew because he listens to what I tell him about his computer and doesn’t say “Can you help me fix this? You’re doing it wrong.” Everybody else,  pony up. No more free. No more 12 packs paying for 2+ years of tech support, no more of me making time during the middle of the week when I am busy as hell and then having the shit break the next flipping day anyway, and then when I say “what happened?” you go “I don’t know.” I can’t work with that. The computer just didn’t suddenly start or stop doing something. You want to use the Force when you’re using your computer that’s fine. I am not  Obi Wan Kenobi and you are not Luke fuckin Skywalker. You want me to help you? Pony up! Somewhere between $70 and $150 bucks an hour depending how bad you broke that shit. Not my problem. Sorry. You need another solution - Go find Yoda and see if his ass might be available.

Speaking, (pun intended) of not being free - I’m somehow, (happily) booked into 3 speaking gigs this spring and while I appreciate the opportunity and love to speak with an audience I also think these will be the last 3 that are free. These folks gave me my chance(s) and got me going so I’m not going to change up now and charge them or be anything but grateful to them for letting me come speak, but - I’m not giving anymore away after this. I don’t know how much it will cost,  probably more than tech help but less than a family of 4’s monthly grocery bill. Building talks takes time and resources that I just don’t have to give away anymore. I love that folks value my experience and abilities. I just can’t keep giving things away. Is that selfish? Probably.

Sorry.

If I may, I do have a couple more. Hey, I said it was a rant.

Here we go...

Stop mailing me shit I didn’t ask for. I don’t just toss. If you sent it to me I am foolish enough to think it might have some value. Of course I’m finding out most of it doesn’t have any value at all and it is pissing me off.

As such, I’ve got new mail rules.

If I owe you - mail me. If I know you - mail me. If you owe me - mail me. If you want to play, (MJB related) mail me.

Everybody else - Knock that shit off.

Politicians - don’t send me a list of crap you think you did or you think the other guy didn’t. I read the news everyday - pretend I’m Missouri and show me. Thanks.

Advertisers - You want to sell me your stuff? I am plugged in probably 15 - 20 hours a day. Go where I am. Wow me! Be newsworthy. You can pretend I’m Missouri too. Just get the hell out of my mailbox.

And while I’m at it - stay off my phone. Don’t call me unless you absofuckinglutely have to. I HATE the phone. 5 email accounts feed into my Blackberry - use one of ‘em. Text me. Let me know you want to get together and talk in person, maybe over a beverage - I’m in. Don’t call me to talk on the damn phone. While you’re figuring out how to say goodbye - most of us have accomplished at least 6 or 7 other meaningful things.

I like to talk to one person on the phone. I married her.

Don’t misunderstand. I love people. I just hate the damn phone.

Finally, I’ve got one that’s kinda work related.

If I’m helping somebody else, Wait.Your.Fuckin’Turn. My name is not “Excuse me.” You are not more important than the person I am helping. You are just being rude. Knock.It.Off!

Whew!

As I read those above paragraphs a part of me is proud and a part of me is appalled, but here’s the thing - at some point you have to worry about taking care of you. My family and I sacrifice a ton of time together. I sacrifice a lot of free time to do things for people for free and I just can’t do that anymore.

It’s not really about money. It is however about feeling valued, about feeling like more than just “a nice guy.” Hell, I’ll admit it; it’s about feeling some sense of self worth.

Probably all very selfish, but yeah I feel better. I’m tired of treading water and always saying I’m gonna. I’m tired of wasting time. I need to find out if there is something else, if there is something more. I need to actually accomplish something before it’s too late, and I need some time to do it.

Fair enough?

Seems like its about damn time doesn’t it?

Or did the rant just piss you off? Be honest. I can take it.