I'm Gonna

When I was a kid my parents called me "I'm gonna." It was usually for typical kid stuff, but they had a genuine concern that I was going to be "Mr. I'm gonna" for the rest of my life and that "I'm gonna do the dishes, mow the lawn, clean my room, the basement, the apples from the backyard, etc... and so on would turn into - "I'm gonna get my degree, get a job, get a better job, save money, get in shape and so on."

Needless to say that really bothered me - I mean that was never going to be me. I would always be at the top of my game, going for broke, making it happen.

Hahaha - well you know what they say -

So yep, Mom and Dad you win. I'm "Mr. I'm Gonna." Pleased to meet you.

This is not to say I haven't accomplished anything in my life. I have a wonderful family. I have a college degree. I have a good job. But there's a lot I don't have. A lot I haven't done. A lot I feel like I'm still gonna do.

I'm due to reach a milestone in the age department this year so I'm taking a lot of inventory.

Recently we were on vacation and I said something to the effect of "...there is nothing like a time for reflection, a time to take stock, and I have so many things running around in my head and ideas for when we get back it's actually kind of scary."

But now we're back and everything seems the same. You see I was gonna, but then well I didn't.

Some changes come easier than others I know. I don't know that I'm discouraged. I am laughing at myself.

"Mr. I'm Gonna" all over again.


WineLover said...

So, now's the time to change your name to "Mr. Damn - look what I done did!"

It takes courage to grow up and turn out to be who you really are.
~ E.E. Cummings

largesse said...

Do I ever know what you're talking about! Too many things that never get done in favor of the things that must be done.

My advice to my sons (and to myself) is to try to keep going forward, even if it's only a little bit. So, I try to accomplish just one do-able thing at a time.

Still, there's a lot on my list! Take heart and keep going. You've accomplished a lot and will do a lot more yet.

Jim Brochowski said...

Thanks largesse. I appreciate knowing that "I'm not the only one."

Thank you for the encouragement.