Unanswered Prayers

Warning - this is a silly sappy thing, but hey sometimes I can be a silly sappy guy.

This morning driving in I was playing my (boring I found out last weekend) iPod when this song came on. (Good luck finding a better link than that. Garth is a little protective with his copyrights.)

I tried to sing along, (Don't worry, I was by myself) but every time I hear this song I break down crying like a blubbering idiot.

See, I had a high school sweetheart. We were together for 4 years. There are people in my family that still can't believe we aren't married.

Of course what those relatives don't know is that like (al)most every high school boy, I was an idiot. Dating around, doing things with my friends I shouldn't have been doing, in general being what many would call "normal," albeit not acceptable.

I'm not afraid to admit it I was young and stupid and I was a boy after all. To answer the inevitable question - Yes, I am trying to convince my daughters to stay away from the likes of me.

In any case, after many breakups and fights and countless discussions about "our future," my girlfriend had (rightfully) had enough and threw me to the curb.

I was devastated. I thought I had thrown away everything that was good in my life and I prayed to God hoping that she would one day take me back. Even as I dated other girls, I still thought there was a chance, and I'm pretty sure those other girls knew that too.

But one day - One day that all went away.

That was the day I fell in love with my wife.

Okay - it wasn't magical like the snap of a finger, and I'm sure there are many that will be happy to share just how difficult I made things with some less than stellar judgment, but as I got to know this wonderful woman more and more it became increasingly clear to me that she was "the one."

So one day, finally we sat down and had a talk. I don't remember how long the conversation really was, although I usually jokingly say it lasted 4.5 hours or so. Like I said, I was a snake, and more than your "typical boy."

I do remember that I wanted Netter to know everything. Full disclosure - no detail left unsaid, no stone left unturned. I knew that I wanted to be with her, and I wanted to give her all the reasons she might not want to be with me, so that if she decided she still did there'd be nothing to hide going forward.

Remarkably, by the true grace of God, Netter decided to stay with me. I hope I've never made her regret that decision.

We didn't run into my old girlfriend "at a home town football game," wouldn't that be cliché? We did meet at my 5 year high school reunion, and started to make peace with each other. Our families even exchanged Christmas cards for awhile.

What stands out most to me though is how it was so instantly obvious to me that God had indeed left my prayer unanswered for a reason, and reflecting a little more how obvious it is that I have spent my life with the woman I was truly meant to be with "for all time."

There aren't enough pages or posts to tell you all about how special Netter is, what a great Mom, what an awesome Wife and best friend, still I would be remiss if I didn't take a minute to share the reasons I have mist, (hey that's what I'm calling it) in my eyes today.

I don't generally believe in applying songs to your life. I think if manipulated in the right way, all songs could be applied to almost everyone's life.

But sometimes I make exceptions, and sometimes the choices aren't really ours anyway...

Just remember when you're talking to the Man upstairs...

6 comments:

Deb Scott said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Deb Scott said...

That was beautiful, profound, shimmering, I don't have the words.....
It is so interesting to read your posts. And very refreshing to see a man who isn't afraid to bare his soul (actually, that's not exclusive to your gender!)I am learning a lot about you, and , by proxy, your family, and it is a fascinating journey to read your and Netter's blogs. You two are truly blessed to have each other and it is so nice to see a HAPPY family for a change. And, as you have already seen, sometimes the answer to a prayer is NO. But there is a reason for that.
Thank you for sharing with us. It is special, and encouraging to those of us who are still searching for that special someone.

Maureen said...

What a great post--and wonderful for your daughters to read (and get to see every day)!

Jim Brochowski said...

Hey there, Thank you both for commenting.

I feel privileged to have this medium to share myself with folks. It gives me a great way to share things with my daughters without being the over the top Dad, and to share a lot more about myself with others than might be comfortable for a normal conversation, but is okay to read about. (I hope that makes sense.

I know how lucky I am to have Netter and the girls in my life, and I hope everyone gives themselves that same chance to be so lucky. We all deserve it.

Cat said...

God has a funny way of working things out for those who are willing to see it. Hmm - sounds like a scripture I heard . . . oh, yea, Romans 8:28

Jim Brochowski said...

Cat, you're right. It is about allowing ourselves to see. It can be hard sometimes, and even pretty frustrating. I think it's okay even if we get upset about it as long as we go back and let Him know later that we get it.