What would you do?

Yesterday we received this in the mail.
It's not the first time we've gotten something like this.

Meghan has also been invited to join Up with People and nominated to be included in Who's Who of American Grade School Students, (may not be the exact name) among other things.

For those of you who may not know we lost our Meghan Joy when she was 15 months old.

As you might expect every time we receive something like this it catches us off guard.

While we do everything we can to continue Meghan's legacy through her foundation we try not to dwell on the things that aren't happening.

Meghan's sister K (they are identical twins) is a sophomore in high school this year. She has a slew of experiences and accomplishments. We don't often talk about what Meghan might have experienced or accomplished.

Meghan's younger sister D is in 7th grade this year experiencing the trials and tribulations of adolescence. We rarely address the fact that D never had the chance to even know her older sibling.

It's not that we don't love to talk about our Meghan Joy. It's just that you don't want to dwell on the negative, and would rather pick our moments and times to stress the positive.

When Netter first told me about this letter she said that I would "get to make another fun phone call." Yeah - insert sarcasm there.

I have made these calls before. I have had lengthy email exchanges with company representatives.

Almost always they are apologetic. Only one has been defensive, I found out through the course of emailing back and forth that she had also lost a child. The mailing list came from a third party.

Ah, the mailing list...

While each Organization I've contacted has maintained that while they do use mailing lists there are still criteria that need to be met before they send out invitations.

Seems kinda preposterous doesn't it?

Meghan passed when she was 15 months old, it's hard to believe there is any reason she'd be sent any of these things except for the fact that birth announcements are published in the paper and obviously collected by these types of agencies for future use. That the further step is taken to find a current address for each student, (Meghan never lived in the house we live in now), makes it even more ridiculous.

In truth the whole thing has gotten almost comical which in and of itself is sad.

I'll call the National Benefit Life Insurance Company tomorrow and let them know what I think about all of this, and I'm sure there excuses will all be very similar to what we've already heard from so many others.

Or maybe I won't. Will it really make a difference? I've always called or emailed. What will happen, how will we feel if I don't?

What would you do?


WineLover said...

I've never lost a child, so I don't know the pain involved. I can only imagine what I'd do. I think (or at least I think that I would think...) I might be very fed up with making the calls and sending the emails. Instead, I might turn it into a time to take a special moment to reflect on Meghan - like she might be sending you a little message from heaven that she is doing just fine. And then I'd hoist a glass w/Netter (or my spouse I guess) and say "we'll see you when..."

Maureen said...

I think it's horrible that you, Annette and the girls have to experience this from time to time. So I would continue doing what you have been doing--contacting each company after it happens. Sometimes people need to understand that direct mailings are, well, more than just direct mailings.

read2akid said...

My mom keeps getting mailings and phone calls for my dad. Most are sales inquiries, too. The mailings I believe she ignores, but she tells the folks on the phone exactly where they can go and what to do when they get there. Okay, she's probably nicer about it than that, but I wouldn't be. I would make the calls. You don't need some company, who clearly doesn't care about you, trying to make money off of you.

Cammie said...

Hi!! Kelly told me you gave me a shoutout on Twitter! Thanks!! Nice to "meet" you

Jim Brochowski said...

I didn't call, but I haven't set the letter aside yet either.

I honestly don't know what I'm going to do.

I think WineLover has a good idea, but a big part of me is just pissed off about the whole thing.

For now - I'm working on gaining perspective without over thinking it.

Jim Brochowski said...

Almost forgot -

Hi Cammie

It's nice to "meet" you too. Your blog is hilarious!

Cat said...

OMG - those money-grubbing robber-barons should all be locked up.

Jim Brochowski said...

I'm with you Cat.

Junk mail, junk email, sales calls, -
All direct avenues to "I'm not buying or giving."

Mailing lists are one of my pet peeves to begin with.

Oh - and this is still in a pile of unfinished stuff on my desk.

Jim Brochowski said...

I ended up calling after all. Couldn't not.

Got the cold, "we're not responsible for the mailing list, but we'll take the name off."

When I asked if they knew how this affects families who get these letters I heard "I can't imagine."

No apology.


Next time - we're going WineLover's suggested route.