Too Transparent? Not enough? Overthinking? Hmmm...

I get a lot of comments from folks that my blog, (and pretty much all the information I put out for public consumption) is very open, deep, revealing, and sometimes - too revealing, too open, too deep - Man Jim why do you put all that out in the open like that?

My reply is pretty simple:

Why not?

As I've talked about before, my aim in using social media, in being part of the community is to make sure people know the real me, to know the things I value. I've talked about how I had let myself, and the way folks perceived me to become someone, something I was not, or at the very least somebody I didn't like to be. I want to be sure I don't go there again, and I want to be held accountable.

Now, I don't put "everything" out there, and there have been times when I wonder if I've been putting too much... I don't want to risk holding back to a point where it feels like I'm being dishonest. I would hope you would let me know if things weren't comfortable.

We all share the same concerns. We all have similar experiences. I think it's okay to talk about them, to be open, to share, to help each other.

Not everybody does and I get that. That's okay.

Recently, I was quizzed by one of my co-workers about some of my social media use. My co-worker, let's call them, CW uses Facebook, and is starting to blog a bit, but isn't sure just yet about "putting oneself" out there as it were. (Yes, I kept all references to CW very non-gender specific and I understand that the grammar police might come after me. I'm okay with that.)

Today, I thought I might share our exchange and get your take. What do you think?

CW's first question: If you have a certain "online persona" how does that overlap/interact with your real life persona?

My reply: I try really hard not to have an online persona, but instead to just be me as much as possible. I censor myself a little bit, but that's also a part of my process of trying to lose the "curmudgeon in the corner" image. My life had become about everything negative and I
was miserable, and miserable to be around I would imagine. In the spring of 2008 I ran into an online chat room watching hockey games. It was easy to just be myself, open up, and try as much as possible to keep it positive. As the summer progressed and we, (CML) moved into "Learn and Play," it was easy for me to transition that positive using the new (to me) tools, and let people know that the curmudgeon wasn't really me, but just someone I had allowed myself to become over time, and that I wasn't happy with it. I wrote a blog post about it if you want to check it out.

CW's second question: How do you relate the "curmudgeon in the corner" with the "600 followers, (on Twitter)" guy?

My reply: "The 600 followers guy was unintentional, but who doesn't like to be popular right? :-) Just kidding. (Point of fact, I'm not concerned about numbers. That really was a joke.) Twitter is the tool I use to keep in touch with people I don't see everyday, and to meet new people who share similar interests. Think of it this way, Even with your best friend you probably didn't dive in as soon as you met them and start having heart to heart conversations. You took some time to get to know each other, sharing small parts of your life,
until a trust was built, molded, hardened and such and you felt you could open up. Twitter is pretty much the same thing, but it takes it a step further, or could because with these new tools people are collaborating, doing business, and still in some cases just making new friends. But - it is a small incremental process just like real life.

Most people who dive onto Twitter and bombard folks with way too much detail, and try to pitch their business deals or advertise their blogs right away are shunned almost immediately. (Just like we run away from the salespeople who attack as soon as we walk into the store.)
Those who get into Twitter for the reasons I mentioned above are far more likely to be valued so that when they do post a new blog or have something to share, or even have a business proposition people will listen. (Just like the sales person we know was watching and paying attention to what we are looking at, approaching us with answers when we have questions, but waiting for us to ask.)"

CW's final, and probably most important question: Who is more important, your twitter audience, or the people you interact with face to face every day? :)

This one was easy if I used my wife and my kids as my only example, but the answer didn't come out quite like I had intended. Tell me what you think?

"As far as my audience - I don't generally separate the two, but if I need to I always choose face to face first. The Social Media tools are just that, tools. While I hope to build valued relationships that will be face to face eventually - Ultimately the existing, (face to face) relationships are what is most important to me, and the people in front of me bring a more valued relationship. Just like customers in the building come before customers on the phone."

I was trying to emphasize the value of face to face, but I feel like I left a part of this unanswered, or something is missing in my reply. In many cases, my online relationships are also face to face relationships. Perhaps that means I'm using the tools effectively, the right way?

But not all of these relationships are face to face, at least not yet. Does that mean I'm not placing enough value, investing enough time? I know that not "all" of them will reach the next level, but what about 1/2? 1/3?

Perhaps I'm guilty (again) of over thinking. (You saw the smoke right?)

Above all else I want to be sure that I am doing things right, that my positive remains positive, and that my emphasis remains on building honest, open, relationships whether that be in the cyber community or the face to face world.

What's your take on this? What do you think?