Stuff...

I’ve been thinking a lot lately, okay for at least the last few weeks, about accumulation.

Maybe it’s because it is the season for accumulating. Maybe it’s the boxes and boxes... and boxes and boxes... and boxes and boxes...

And did I mention boxes? … of Christmas stuff Netter puts up to decorate each year.
(I like to tease her, but the truth is I really love the holiday decor. Shhh... don’t tell her. ;-)

It might be the lists that propagate this time of year. Grocery lists, guest lists, gift lists, lists for Santa and the like

Perhaps, it is because it’s that time of year when we all get together with our families, when we are reminded of our roots, of things that we learned as kids, traditions, stories, the evolution of ourselves, likes, dislikes, new likes, new dislikes... and you know … the like.
(last time, I promise)

For some one supposes a little more inventory is taken when we are inside all winter. Perhaps we notice more the number of material possessions we, (Hey, I’m saying we. Go with it.) tend to gather to our nests. Boxes upon boxes, closet full upon closet full, drawer upon drawer, pile on the desk upon pile on the desk.

For me it could be based on observing our oldest K, home from her first quarter at school, bringing with her a large accumulation of laundry among other things. How did she fit all that in that dorm room?

But I digress...

As I think about all of this stuff I wonder how it all comes together, seemingly without our knowing it is even happening. A lifetime of experience, and junk all rolled into one... Or do we know? Do we choose to ignore the stuff? Do we embrace the stuff?

I’m talking about some important stuff here.

It’s not always a bad thing - At our MJB Foundation board meeting last week I remarked that we had never really had a “business plan, “ that we had sort of hodged and podged and cut and pasted and put it altogether without ever really planning on what was happening next. Outside of our events we’re not always sure what’s happening, what’s going on... from one moment to the next and while some of that is circumstance the fact remains that  we are still helping kids, helping children experience the JOY of childhood. Don’t get me wrong, we are trying to find better ways, to plan better, to streamline and regulate, but while not knowing is sometimes frustrating it doesn’t take away from the fact that we have done some good along the way, and we should celebrate that success even as we try and improve for the future.

But there area also times when the junk piles up, when the stuff is overwhelming, when we don’t want to go, or don’t want to relate, or don’t want to deal with that... at least not right now.

Still you have to get there somehow....

But again, how does this stuff get here? How did it manage to accumulate without us even noticing? Does life go so fast, do the years fly by so quickly that we can manage to miss so much even when we think we are taking note of everything? Or did we notice after all?

Is it poor planning, good planning, a mistake, a success?

I’m not assigning a value here. I’m really just wondering... How does it all come together, how do we ease the flow, stem the change (charge?), let loose the tide...

Oh wait, that’s another blog post - or is it? (Did I mix up my metaphors?) Are we perhaps more in control than we realize? I mean, I know I make my own decisions.

Right Honey? ;-)

Seriously, I suspect we all have stuff, at least to a varying degree...


I wonder what might happen, how it would look, if we took it all away?

Of Bounce Houses and Ballpits...

On my way into work the other day I noticed that one of my neighbors has a Christmas bounce house in their front yard. I have to admit a part of me wants to stick it with a pin.

I know, kinda Scroogish, eh? Grinchish if you prefer even. At least that's what folks on Facebook & Twitter said when I asked about it.

Really though, there is a reason I have issues with bounce houses, and ball pits, trampolines, and even Christmas & New Years. (What? I had to stick to all inanimate objects?) It's pretty simple really.

I think they're all over-hyped things that end up, (with few exceptions) being HUGE disappointments. Dreams unrequited. Bitter tear-stained lists never completed. Injury upon injury. Crushing blow upon crushing blow...

Okay, maybe that's a little too dramatic. Let's break this down...

The first time I went into a bounce house I got stuck in a corner, couldn't get out and eventually had to actually be rescued feet first. The second time - an overcrowded mess. Nobody could jump.

But the third time... I had the bounce house all to myself. I could bounce to my heart's content. It was mine, all mine. Mwahahahahahaha!

Wait a minute:

Who wants to go in a bounce house alone?

BoooooooooRRRRiiinnnnnggggg!!!!!

Pretty similar experience with the ballpit. Only if you dive head first into the ballpit, and it's not really "full" enough as it were... Did you know that you could hit your head and maybe cause permanent brain damage?!!???!! Okay, maybe not permanent. (Would explain a lot though, eh? ;-)

Trampolines? Well, I ask you - How could anyone who has seen the movie Big ever think any ordinary trampoline could ever be worth their while?!? (And, oh by the way, why can't I find that scene on YouTube?) If you don't know the scene I'm talking about - go out and rent the movie.

Now!

You still here?

Moving on - Christmas? New Years? No, no. I don't have any detailed lists or stories. I've talked before about my issues with Christmas and New Years, and I think it's pretty clear that while I do have issues with certain areas of these two holidays, I also have come to terms with finding my own way to deal with them.

Huh?

Here's what I'm getting at.

If my 40th year was my year of inventory, then my 41st year has been my year of recognition. And the thing I've recognized the most is this:

Life is what you make of it.

You may have noticed I've been away from the blog and only found intermittently in the usual spots online in the past month or so. There's a few reasons for that, a few I'd rather not discuss, and a few I'm sure I'll discuss in the coming year. We're just gonna leave it at that for now.

As I review 2009, I'm recognizing that my life is a bit cyclical. Parts of that cycle are good. Parts of that cycle need to be changed. I need to make more of an effort to do that. So, that's where I'm going from here.

I need to find a way to adjust, to accept, to enjoy the bounce house and the ballpit, very much like I've come to terms with Christmas and New Years, and I cannot do it alone.

Wanna come with me?

Easter -

I'm always anxious in the springtime. Tired of the winter doldrums, of the gloom and gray.
Eager for the sunshine and the warmth that is to come.

I've never been a winter person. In my not always so humble opinion, there is one good thing about winter and we've learned how to make ice indoors which is where hockey should be played anyway.

In Central Ohio it seems we tend to hang onto winter a little longer for some reason, I think it's our local weather folk. They really like the swings in temperature - you know 30 one day, 70 the next.

It is a funny thing when you think about it. I remember one Easter morning Netter and I got the twins all dressed up in their pretty little dresses with a sweater for the light breeze that was blowing, and off to church we went.

One and one half hours later, it was snowing and Grandpa was none too happy that his granddaughters did not have coats. Yikes! Fortunately it was just a short walk to the car, and we quickly rushed home for warmer clothes for all of us.

But while it snowed that Easter Sunday, I have always found Easter to be the day that gives this sun starved individual a little hope, a little drive towards summer.

There are of course, the religious meanings of the day, the story of our Lord's rising from the Dead is, and should be our central focus. Still, as someone who believes you don't necessarily have to go to church to be religious I tend to focus on the more "modern day," applications sometimes - i.e. the rebirth that is spring.

As a golfer the spring time is one of my favorite times of year. I'm reminded of a piece I wrote sometime ago. I blogged about it in the fall, but I'd like to post it again today so I can remember, so I can, well so I can be spiritual.

(Plus, I must confess it's one of my favorite pieces and I like to get those out and dust them off every once in a while.)

Early in the morning at the golf course, usually on the first long par 5 and particularly on courses which are more natural than man-made, i.e. wetlands have been preserved, animals are still in abundance, there is a fine mist that gives me an incredibly peaceful feeling. I’m playing my favorite game. I’m out in nature. I’m enjoying the company of friends and companions. It’s hard to explain it briefly but trust me it’s awe-inspiring. To get a sense for it, go outside some morning early in your barefeet (when it’s warmer), walk in the dew-covered grass, take big gulpfuls of air and try and think of something or do something you really enjoy (like drinking a fresh cup of coffee). Try and take notice of everything outside - the sky, the clouds, the birds, the ants on your driveway. Now look up.

Way up.

Get it?

Resolutions

I'm not working tomorrow. In fact, January 2nd is the one day of every year I try not to work. It's too depressing.

Now you might think I say that because it is the end of the holiday season, but that's really not it. Well, my reasons for not working January 2nd have a lot to do with one particular holiday tradition, so maybe it is true. I'll let you be the judge.

Across the land last night hundreds, heck, millions of people watched the clock strike midnight and made their New Year's resolutions.

This means that tomorrow at the library we, (well not me) will see people who are going to exercise more, lose weight, quit smoking, learn about technology, build a resume and get a better job, and on and on and on.

Now, I hope (today's WOTD), that a large number of these folks are successful in their endeavors. The reality though is that a larger number will fail.

In just a few weeks, the treadmills at the gyms will once again be empty, the restaurants will once again be full, and the junk food and tobacco business will once again be booming.

I just think that's depressing.

A few years ago, I decided I wasn't going to do resolutions anymore. I was sick of the failure, of saying things like, "I'll try again in the spring," or "I'll do it for Lent."

Instead I set about finding a way to actually accomplish something instead of revisiting failure.

I began by working on True Intent. As I've talked about before, that goal is to:

Always try to consider peoples' true intent when interacting with them and respond accordingly and without bias.

Now this is an ongoing exercise, so I can't say that it's a "resolution" per se, but I do remind myself each year to stay true to that goal and I take a little inventory to see how I've done during the course of the preceding year.

This year, I think I did okay. I still lost my temper more than a few times, was less than patient in a couple of situations, and probably added some sarcasm that wasn't necessarily called for.

It's always a work in progress.

Today, I am asking myself if there is an end goal from that progress, and while I don't think there is as human interaction will never end, I do think it is part of something larger that I have been working on without even knowing.

That would be the process of self improvement. Yeah, I'm putting it all together now - the Year of Inventory, the desire to get along better with others, wanting more people to know the real me. In general, the need to tackle some things I've been avoiding for years.

Duh, Jim - the process of self improvement. Good for me, but darn I can be slow sometimes.

Okay, so I'm asking myself, "what's next? What do I want to work on improving in 2009?"

Heck I don't know. I've been pondering that question all day long, walking around the house, staring at the t.v. screen, watching football and hockey, looking at my cluttered desk. You know - taking inventory.

I'd like to read more. I'd like to have better sleep habits, and maybe even make myself into a morning person. (Is that possible?) I'd like to refinish a couple pieces of furniture that have been sitting in my garage for far too long. I'd like to finish a few projects at work that have been sitting in my "to do box," for quite a while. I'd like to blog more, and write more effectively.

That's just the list of things I've come up with today. The total number of possibilities are really probably endless. Self improvement is not something that we ever finish or check off a list. Nobody is perfect as they say.

But where to begin? How do I "not fail?"

I have my lovely wife to thank for providing the answer to this question. Netter always says:

"Just do something. As long as you are doing something you are making progress and that's really all that's important."

And so I begin - that pile of clutter won't be there for long.

What's your New Year's resolution?

Overcoming the Excess of Christmas

I'm the guy who cries - at everything. Movies, TV shows, Hallmark commercials - you name it. If there is even a hint of emotional poignancy in the message - I'm crying. I can't help it, and the truth is, over time I've just accepted it.

My kids get a big kick out of this, and very often I catch them watching me instead of the television show or the movie, or even each other if we happen to be at a choir or band concert. It's just the way I am.

I wear my emotions on my sleeve and I'm not afraid to show them even if there are tears involved. Oh sometimes I hold back until I'm by myself. But once I let loose, I'm not really concerned about who might be watching.

As we know - this is the season for all the types of stories one might expect would make someone like me become a blathering, blithering, emotional wreck.

The reality, however, is that the Christmas season more than anything just pisses me off.

Whew! There I said it. It's out in the open for all to hear (er, um read).

Now, folks who really know me are looking at their computer screens right now going, "Eh Jimmer - none of this is new buddy."

But here's what you don't know...

I love Christmas.

Really I do. I like the decorations, and the songs, the pageantry, and the parades, mistletoe and holly.

I love it all.

Most importantly, I love the fact that every year folks come together to remember the birth of someone so special to so many of us, someone who gave so much, someone who...

Well I'm not going to turn the blog into a pulpit today or any day for that matter.

In a recent entry, I noted the fabulous Christmas decorations my wife Annette dresses our house in each year. This surprised my wife who said she never realized that I liked the decorations so much - and this made me sad.

I've been Santa Claus, and Mr. Tree (now there's a job).

Heck, I proposed to Annette on a carriage ride five days before Christmas 19 years ago this Saturday.

I love the tradition that goes with this very special time of year.

But there is one thing I don't like - one thing that just ruins the fun.

Excess.

Christmas decorations go up in most stores and display windows as soon as Halloween is over. Excess.

Christmas sales that start as early as November 1. Excess.

Black Friday - if you can wait for Thanksgiving to be over - Excess.

Spending minimums for Christmas gifts - usually in the office - Excess.

Worse than anything - forgetting the true meaning, the true spirit of Christmas in favor of the overspending (even in this tough economic climate), and commercialism just because - well you know - it's Christmas.

Excessive - and it pisses me off.

Still every year - just when I'm about to declare myself Scrooge and give up on Christmas something happens that brings it back for me:

-Whether it's an entire office coming together to help a family with no holiday fund, nothing for their five year old girl to open on Christmas morning,

-or one of those sappy commercials on the radio about the station giving Christmas to a family in need.

-Even the miracle $1.00 iPod that there was no way a parent could afford at the time.

-Or the story of the simple white envelope sent to me today by my friend Cat with a warning: "don't read on the (public service) desk."

It's good to know my friends know me so well.

(Thanks for the warning Cat - I'm still a little misty, and fortunately not on the desk.)

Thankful that my Christmas spirit lives on. Grateful to be able to share it with everyone.

Saving A Beautiful Day

This has been a great day for my family and me.

And then I almost infected my computer with the dreaded Koobface Facebook video virus. I'll spare you the details, but suffice it to say my day got a little shaky.

To put myself back on track - I'm borrowing from my friend Cat just one more time and sharing three beautiful things about today.

1. In the incredibly simple category, we have a quiet, peaceful home with nice clean sidewalks and driveway. Needless to say, this is not one of my favorite jobs. For some reason however, I don't seem to mind doing it at night. So, last night I took care of most of the shoveling and this morning Miss K. put a bow on the job.


2. Moving into territory that is slightly more fancy. For dinner this evening we had homemade spaghetti. I don't make my own pasta or grow my own vegetables, but I also don't serve spaghetti from a jar. My ladies were all thrilled to have this homemade dish, but only D would jump in front of the camera for me.


Cooking is something I've always enjoyed doing. I also make a mean cheesecake according to Mrs. B. I use my Mom's spaghetti recipe, and I have to give a shout out to former CML and Hilltop staff member Carol Dickerson for the cheesecake. One of my running jokes is that the cheesecake was my "hook" for picking up the ladies. Netter tells me that if I want to keep my lady, I better be making that cheesecake a little more regularly.

3. Speaking of Netter - My lovely wife provides today's biggest highlight with our Christmas decorations including our tree.

Netter pulled out a full 21 boxes of decorations today turning our house into a Christmas wonderland. I'm hoping to shoot some video to capture the entirety of it all, but for today we'll just share the tree.

In the spirit of the season, knowing I won't possibly be fortunate enough to see all of my friends and family, or the casual reader - I'd like to take this opportunity to extend my heartfelt wishes for a beautiful holiday for you and yours. May you know the joy, (saving that word for a special day) of this blessed season and enjoy a prosperous, healthy, and happy New Year.

There now, that feels better doesn't it.

Three Beautiful Things for Thanksgiving

It's been a pretty trying week as we have wrestled with car repair costs, Christmas budgets, and other various and sundry monetary concerns that may or may not be a subject for a later day, er um, post. (Probably not - who wants to read about money troubles?)

Of course, like many or most - I paused yesterday to take time to think about all that I have to be thankful for.

To share them and to provide a bright spot to the end of our week - I'm borrowing another idea from my friend Cat, (I told you I think she's brilliant) and sharing 3 beautiful things.

1. The four lovely ladies in my life. Showing my bias, but probably not facing much if any argument from many I'm sure - Netter is one of those people who you know from the moment you meet to be a special person in your life. Of course, for me she is the MOST special person, and I am lucky and privileged to have her in my life. I love you Honey.

D and K are brilliant, intelligent, and beautiful growing young ladies. I am very proud of their accomplishments, but even more proud that they are loving, caring and helpful individuals.

Meghan Joy is an inspiration for me and for many. Because of her, and the legacy she provides we have been able to share our gift of Joy with so many children with challenges in the Central Ohio area. I love you Meghan Joy.

I am grateful for the gift God has given me to be a Daddy to all of my daughters. I love you girls.

2. My extended family, especially my in-laws. So often I hear horror stories about grunting and groaning father-in-laws, manipulating mother-in-laws, and crazy sister and / or brother -in laws. I don't have any of that. I have a group of wonderful people who I am happy to call my family. Thanks Atchison clan.

3. My friends. I always thought I had great friends, but over the course of the last year I've discovered that I have many, many friends I may not have even thought of or known about. I am honored to have both old friends and new, and I very much appreciate knowing you are there for me as I hope you know I am there for you.

3a. Mulligan James - My boy is a crazy, energy driven, sometimes willful beast who I love with all my heart and soul because I know he loves me. Everybody should have a puppy dog, (man’s best friend) like Mulligan in their life.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone.

I hope you enjoyed the day.

Halloween Hogwash

Not a lot rankles, (now that's a fun word) me these days. It takes way too much energy to be angry, mad, frustrated upset, etc... and so on. I'm not saying I never get this way. It just takes more these days than it used to. (Don't tell my kids. I still yell at them sometimes just to keep them on their toes - kidding.)

But last night I was spitting, yes, spitting mad. And this is why.
My daughter Delaney found this in her candy in a box of Nerds. I was incensed.

I mean really, what is the point? To think that some "adult" put this much time and energy to send this message to my 12 year old is simply ridiculous. What message is that anyway?

You're too old to be a kid? Really? Who made them judge and jury for "kiddom?"

Okay, we all remember that point in our life when we stopped trick or treating. Many of those stories go something like this.

I didn't want to wear a costume. My parents told me I couldn't go door to door asking for candy if I didn't at least take the time to put on a costume. I decided it wasn't worth it. My trick or treating career was over.

But D did take the time to put on a costume. She was a "50's girl." Her friends also had on costumes. One was Barbie. The other was an OSU fan with frightening scars on her face, and a James Laurinitis' jersey.

Okay, maybe not the sort of princess and fairy costumes they might have come up with when they were younger, but serviceable at least, and not the "Hoochy Mama" outfits some of the older teenagers were wearing. (Now that's another post entirely.)

My oldest K stopped trick or treating after her 7th grade year. An 8th grade class trip to Washington D.C. conflicted with Halloween, and by her freshman year her candy hunting days were a faded memory.

We fully expect D to take the same trip next year, so there was a tinge of sadness as we watched her walk around with her friends on what will most likely be her last trick or treat night. We fondly recalled the memories of so many Halloween's past, and wondered how our children could be growing so quickly. It was a beautiful evening. We all had a great time - and then...

D opened her box of Nerds.

Harumph - Nerd indeed!