Resolved for Dummies

As I paddled backwards I watched Netter working on her reel and line and realized that for the first time, in pretty much ever, I was going to have to do this myself.

Patiently, I maneuvered the canoe so it angled just so. Quietly I put down my paddle and picked up my rod. A quick side arm flick of the wrist putting my line exactly where I knew he was...

Pow, the fish grabbed my artificial worm and started to swim.

Furiously I started to reel him in, then remembered that I needed to be more patient and not let him jump, or otherwise find a way to pull away from my line... and there he was.

As I put down my fishing pole and pulled the fish from the water I could see that he wasn’t all that special. Average size, not all that big, not even as big as two I had caught the day before actually, but there was a difference.

I didn’t wait for Netter to help paddle me into position, or wait for her to say: “Good cast Honey,” to know I had gotten it right. I had put all the lessons of our 19 previous trips to Akita, everything Ranger Annette, (as we only half jokingly call her) and her Dad had taught me, grabbed opportunity by the hand and I just caught it. I mean I just did it.

You know... like the Nike commercial.

Incredible satisfaction, the only one of my fish we took a picture of the whole weekend in fact.

Today, I am focusing on that as we mark the 18th anniversary of the passing of our daughter Meghan Joy.

I’m reflecting a lot on past and current successes and wondering why sometimes it takes me so long to learn.

Just do it Jim!

In February of last year I let loose my rant of a lifetime...

Because I wasn’t getting anything done.

For the remainder of 2011 I tried to “get stuff done.”

I had my three words and I tried to stick to those, but as 2012 approached I realized that I wasn’t going to accomplish everything I had set out to in 2011, and I needed to find more time, to get stuff done.

I’ve held off talking about it here because I didn’t want to have yet another - New Year’s or Lenten resolution, reflection, good gawd you’re making me gag with all this mushy, gushy life is too short, fulfill your dreams blah, blah, blah, blah, BLAH... and so on...

But as I sit here today and think about Meghan Joy, the Foundation we have established in her memory, and the children we have helped because of her with our golf tournament and bowling outing, I can’t help but think about how important it is to actually DO things.

After I did that little time study last year I started doing things. Instead of finding systems, and books, and ways to get organized and accomplish more, and blah, blah, blah... I just started doing things.

This pile - where does it go? Move it!
That pile - what do I need to do with that? Do it!
That phone call. That letter. Make it. Send it.

Just do it.

It still becomes quite a process sometimes, and I admit that I still overthink things, and I am very guilty of finding tasks that “need to be done,” to replace tasks that “really need to be done.” (I call this cleaning the junk drawer, a theory derived from this article by one of my favorite writers.)

Still, I’ve been steadily pecking away at things, finding the most success with getting healthy - which I thought would actually be the most difficult of the 3 words I wanted to tackle. (Or maybe getting healthy is cleaning out my junk drawer.)

I've been working on it since March 12 because I was supposed to start working with a trainer that day, but hurt my knee. I had to rehab it anyway so I stuck to the diet part of the deal and started with work in the hot tub, then walking, skating, onto the elliptical, and a new obsession with biking. I just told the trainer I would probably not be back because I really enjoy the cardio work I’ve been doing, although I really do get a lot from being on his email list with the fitness information he shares. I must confess I don’t agree with all of it, but I am learning and also remembering a lot from when I worked out as a young person.  

I've done something every day since with a couple of exceptions. I took the first weekend of March Madness off to spend time with buddies doing what buddies do when they are watching basketball. Would not have been a pretty calorie count, although I did cut out the fried food, pizza, and such after day 1. I also sometimes cheat on Saturdays and depending what I'm doing that can get a little out of hand. I'm coming into this with an open mind trying to learn and make changes that will be long term. As of today I’m proud to report I’ve lost 15 pounds and I’m halfway to my goal.

In the meantime, aside from the health kick I’m just doing the work. It takes me away from the blog and some other mediums more than I’d like, but in the long haul I think it will make for more quality in all areas of my life.

I am resolved to make it so.

I Suck At Fall

If I had to pick a season to call my favorite it would be Fall. The start of hockey season comes in the Fall. I love college football - Fall. My favorite beer is only available in the Fall. Unless you stock up which I may or may not be guilty of doing. Once. Last year. Because it was the first time it occurred to me. Yes, I probably will, might do it again this year.

But I digress... Sorry.

My birthday is in the Fall. My wife’s birthday is too. Halloween is my favorite holiday. Okay, I don’t really like holidays in general, but if I had to pick I pick Halloween. Hard to hate on free candy right?

Oh, and I really like the word “Autumn.”

But still, I suck at Fall. I get really sad. I get grouchy. I just want to sleep all the time. (Yes, even more than usual Dave.) I hole up in my office and stare blankly at my computer screen for hours on end. If you ask me, I don’t even remember what I was staring at...

… and I don’t know why. I don’t remember Fall always being like this, or maybe it was. As a young person I didn’t like Fall because I was not a fan of school, but that’s normal right. (Hey, I used normal in reference to myself. That doesn’t happen very often. Let me have this one.)

Still, as I got older, and especially after I met Netter I learned to really appreciate the beauty of Fall, the changes in the leaves, (even when Netter was pregnant and I had to rake them), the colors, the smells, the way the sun sets differently, the crisp autumn air. I love it all.

But then there’s that drag. Even as I write this my head feels heavy and my eyelids are drooping. I could be asleep in minutes.

This fall I’ve been working very hard to stay on task, to get things done, to make progress on my 3 words. I’ve been successful sometimes and sometimes I catch myself - just - staring - into - space.

Netter thinks I have seasonal affective disorder. I suppose that could be true, but I have always had the mindset that if you’re not bleeding or dying you play the game. And so I go on...

I try to stay on track, and focus. The girls are busy now. K just went off to college. D is caught up in band. Plenty to watch and see and listen to. Netter and I have been going on regular walks, exploring our neighborhood parks and trails. We take Mulligan along when we can.

We get really busy in the Fall.

I love Fall!

So why do I suck at it so much?

What do you think?

On jobs and such...

So, the blog has been dark for a bit... Here's an explanation...



If you cannot see the video, click here. While we're rolling. if you have an embarrassing story or online gaffe you'd like to share - fire away in the comments.

Okay, so the question not answered in the video is No, I did not get the job. It may have been because of the phone, but then again...

I just don't think so. For the record for any future potential employers coming by the blog, I LOVE - huh...

What too much?

Okay, Talking on the phone for business and talking to your Uncle whom you love dearly, (in case he's reading) but does not know how to talk on the phone and / or hang up are completely separate issues. Business very often needs to be face to face or voice to voice if you will, and I am absolutely okay with that interaction.

Oh, and here's the incriminating post in case you were curious.

Alright, before I call it a day and because I am talking about jobs I want to talk about something I have going on tomorrow that is pretty cool.

I am a member of the Communications and Satisfaction team for Tech Connect Ohio. This is a terrific program put together by Dan Harris with the assistance of Rocky VanBrimmer in only about 4 weeks I might add.

From the website: In an effort to support these, (Central Ohio technology driven) companies and advance Ohio' s tech initiatives, promote the jobs available and help experienced tech professionals, recent graduates, and interns find and secure these important positions TechConnect Ohio was created. 

So really, how cool is that?

Roh roh:

I received a message last night that I have missed somebody and folks, I hate that. 

So, let's fix it right...

Let me tell you about Jodi Hoye. Jodi is the one responsible for recruiting, communicating, orchestrating and caring for ALL the sponsors who agreed to sign-up and attend this event. She managed this entire event from start to finish and is a key to this events success going forward. In fact, I've been told this would not have happened with out Jodi Hoye's involvement, and how I missed that is completely beyond me. 

Jodi's named responsibility was Sponsorship and Business Development. She did much, much more. Without question, Jodi was "instrumental" to the program's success, and Jodi if you're reading... I am very sorry.


Major bonus that I get to be on that team!

I believe the term is SCORE!

Ahem, sorry... Yes, I am a little excited.

In case you're interested - here is a list of the companies involved.
FastSwitch - http://bit.ly/FastSwitchJobs
TDCI - http://bit.ly/TDCIJobs
Manta - http://bit.ly/MantaJobs
Halcyon Solutions - http://bit.ly/HalcyonJobs
Limited Brands - http://bit.ly/LimitedBrandJobs
Northwoods Consulting - http://bit.ly/NorthwoodsJobs
Oxford Consulting - http://bit.ly/OxfordJobs
Nationwide Insurance - http://bit.ly/NationwideJobs
Huntington Bank - http://bit.ly/HuntingtonJobs
Ecommerce Advanced Services http://bit.ly/ecommjobs
BMW Financial- http://bit.ly/BMWFinJobs
Thirty One Gifts - http://bit.ly/thirtyoneJobs
NetJets - http://bit.ly/NetJetJobs
Motorists Mutual Insurance - http://bit.ly/MotoristJobs
2Checkout - http://bit.ly/2checkoutJobs

I know I have some friends out there who are looking... If I don't see you tomorrow, I hope you at least get a chance to check out the list.

Today I am wearing a tie

Today I am wearing a tie. Yep, a snappy purple tie, with a sport coat and dress pants, and real live dress shoes.Though I usually avoid these types of outfits if I can, I must admit I feel like a million bucks today.

Ordinarily, I’m wearing jeans and t-shirts and sweatshirts to work. Sometimes I might wear a golf shirt. When you might have to crawl around and fix hardware or microfilm machines it’s kind of a necessity not to get so dressed up.

So, why is today different?

Any guesses?

Well, like most men who don’t work in the corporate world, I wear ties for 3 distinct purposes, 3 types of events - and here’s the list...

Survey says? (I miss Richard Dawson)

1. Sadly, someone has passed. Funerals, wakes, memorial services and the like as a matter of decorum, require a tie. Although - I do have this request: Don’t wear a tie to my memorial service. I’ll save the hows and  whys for another day, but mostly I just want folks to dress in something that makes them feel comforted - like a hoodie, or a big honkin' sweater.

More on that another day, let’s get back to ties...

2. Someone is getting married. Who doesn’t love to whoop it up in a tie at a wedding. Throw that jacket over a chair, loosen that tie and dance the night away. It’s just a cool look. You have to love it. Weddings are always fun, well mostly fun, and the tie lets you be respectful at the church and cool at the reception. How can you beat that?

3. Finally, you wear that tie to job interviews, at least for the first round. Time to let folks know you are serious, you are respectful and you are professional.

So (inject Jeopardy music), Jimmer wore a tie today because... do do do do -- dododo...

Bingo, if you answered #3 - I had a job interview.

What’s that?

How did I do?

Well, I’ll start off by telling you that I am really bad at judging this type of thing. I’ve had interviews I thought I rocked that went nowhere, and interviews I thought were utter chaos that landed me a job, the job I have now in fact.

And...

Because I learned this morning that the owner of the company where I interviewed has read my blog I’m only going to say this...

I felt welcome, and everyone I met was incredibly nice.

It really doesn’t matter how I did. Oh, I want the job. I absolutely want the job. I think I would love working there, but the thing is this...

This was probably the first job interview I’ve ever been to where I knew going in EXACTLY what I want to do with my life, exactly what profession I am meant to be a part of, and it felt good.

I’m sure I fumbled an answer or two this morning. I’m sure I didn’t hit everything spot on, but for me, for my self worth - I at least was able to talk about what I know I’m good at, what I know I’m meant to do...

If I screwed it up, if they choose another candidate... ah, it happens. Don’t get me wrong, I know I’ll be disappointed, but I will continue to learn. I will continue to grow and I will continue to know I am on the path I am supposed to be on, the one where I belong.

I didn’t have to bend my skillset today. I didn’t have to change one thing about me. I just had to be me.

And folks...

It feels damn good!

Brimming with...

You may have noticed that lately I’ve been trying to confront some things in my life and make some changes.

One of the things I don’t talk about much is my lack of... well, let’s call it bravado. That’s a nice enough word I suppose.

Pretty simply I don’t talk trash. I’m the guy that firmly believes that if you score a touchdown you hand the ball to the official, act like you’ve been there before and you plan on coming back again soon.

But what I’m learning as I begin to really break down some of my lack of professional success is that this can be a problem.

People ask me, “what do you do?”

“Oh, I work at the library.”

A long time ago, I got invited to an impromptu lunch with the then library director.

“What do you do Jim?”

“Oh, I work in Order Division.” (for all of 4 months)

“Yes, I know. But, what do you do?”

I don’t remember what I stammered out after that. I do, you know - stuff, I do my job. I earn my keep, but here’s the thing...

Even today, I just don’t think there’s anything all that remarkable about what I do.

“But Jim, think of the lives you’ve touched. Think of the impact you’ve had. 25 years is a long time. You don’t JUST work at the library.”

Or, I just took the easy road out and figured “Eh, I have a job. That’s good enough.”

“Jim you take difficult situations and turn them into learning opportunities.”

Really? Because I’m just trying to be helpful and keep things simple.

“Jim, you explain computers in a way that anyone could use one, and learn more about them.”

Really? Because I’m just teaching you the way I would want to be taught.

“Jim, think about the work you do with The MJB Foundation, the children and families you help.”

Okay, that’s something, but I also feel very selfish sometimes because in reality that’s just me keeping my daughter’s memory and spirit alive.

“Jim, you are a wonderful father, a terrific husband.”

Um, thanks I guess but as a father I’m just trying to keep things simple for my kids so they don’t hate their childhood, their teen years, so they’re prepared to go out into the world with values I think are important.

As a husband, I just try to remember that I married my best friend. Life happens and friends work through things to be better friends.

Last Sunday I went to an interview seminar / workshop and I learned unequivocally that the majority of my answers suck.

I had 2 watershed moments.

I talked about having once run my own kitchen table company doing end-user computer support for individuals.

Someone in the workshop said - “Don’t belittle that, (although Kitchen Table Company is kind of a buzzword right now more than anything) you’re an entrepreneur. Highlight that.”

Um, okay - But I feel like I kind of gave up on that, defeated by one customer who just wanted me to do it for her (sometimes the money is not worth it), plus the extra time away from home and Windows ME. (Not a pretty story, trust me.)

Okay, so those are some examples and I realize that my critics are spot on.

I do indeed suck at selling myself, at being confident. Some might say that while I’m confident in my work I still lack some level of self esteem.

Maybe...

So I posted something about that on my Facebook and Twitter status.

“Learning that while I know what I do, I don't sell it very well at all. This may not surprise everyone...”There were several responses, but these two particularly struck me: 

You didn't used to sell it very well. Start today doing something different...

Now that u know what u weren't doing well- DO IT! Don't dwell on it just change it.

I’m trying. I promise I’m trying. I’m not dwelling. I am learning. I’m being proactive, i.e. attending workshops, hiring job coaches, things like that. I’ve put in 12 hour days every day this week and included some (building) confidence work if you will.

It’s not as easy as it sounds in those replies, but I know it’s not impossible.

Here’s hoping anyway...

“He’s gonna be late for his life.”

 “He’s gonna be late for his life.”

That’s what the announcer said. He wasn’t talking about me of course, only making a general statement about some  less than successful folks, but this has been resonating in my head for the better part of the last week.

We live in an a.m. world, and I am a p.m. person. I didn’t choose to be this way, it’s just how I’m wired. Always have been. I come by it honestly. My Mom is a p.m. person. My Grandfather was a p.m. person. Just never big fans of morning...

This can be, well no it is a problem in an a.m. world, which let’s face it is the world we live in.

Very often, I am late in the morning. Usually I can make an early tee time or hockey tournament game. Beyond that, don’t hold your breath. I’m never “really” late of course. Just enough to rub the morning people the wrong way. They look down their nose, unapprovingly, shake their head, make me feel about “this” big and I vow that I’m going to... I’m gonna change.

“I’m gonna.” There’s that phrase again. That nickname my parents tagged me with when I was a kid. I don’t like that phrase, that name at all.

Still, I have a lifetime of I’m gonna, and last week I couldn’t help but wonder:

“Am I late for my life?”

As fate would have it Netter and I ended up spending last weekend away. Well, technically we were still in town, but her company’s annual meeting was being held at the Easton Hilton. We decided to take advantage of the room supplied by her employer and take a mini-weekend. As it turns out we both spent more time working than playing, but it was the time away, out of the ordinary routine that made the trip important.

Fancy digs like this can make one’s mind wander, and wonder what could be different...


I spent a lot, a WHOLE LOT of time thinking about things I have and haven’t done. Accomplishments and failures, dreams realized and unfulfilled, projects, stressors, “what ifs,” could haves, would haves, and should have beens... Some things I hadn’t thought about in years, others are on my mind every single second, of every single minute, of every single hour, of every single day. The fog can get pretty thick sometimes. 

I needed this time to find a way to see through.


One thing screamed at me.

Every failure, every shortcoming, every “not yet accomplished” came back to one set of factors.

I didn’t know how. I didn’t know who to ask for help. I was afraid of what might happen if I even tried.

Kinda sad really eh?

To add to my melancholy, while I was going through all of this “self-examination” my wife was enjoying one of the high points of her  career, at least from my point of view. Her skills were in demand, she was needed everywhere she went, folks could not have spoken more highly of her when she introduced me to them throughout the weekend.

As I schlepped off to work myself yesterday, dressed in my sweatshirt and jeans I said goodbye to Netter and her co-workers, in all their professional attire, I was very happy for and proud of my wife and all that she’s accomplished in her career. At the same time, I was never more sad for myself.

Pretty selfish I know.

Fortunately, the fat lady has not yet begun to sing.

Keeping in mind my 3 words for 2011, I’ve decided to take some decisive action. Today, I made an appointment to talk with a job coach, someone who can help me identify what it is that I do, what it is that I’m good at, what I bring to the table and help me find a career where I can feel as valued as my wife is in her job, where I can feel the same success, the same sense of fulfillment.

I love my library, but the truth is I haven’t had that there in quite some time.

I’m also publicly appealing for someone to help me with our finances, to give me an honest objective viewpoint of the mess we are dealing with, listen to my ideas for straightening things out and tell me whether I’m crazy or if I might be onto something. I have another post I’ve been working on about the budget. It’s probably the next post in fact, but for now - this is my public appeal for help.

Of course, health is also one of my 3 words, and I am hopeful that working on the 2 things above will also help me to begin to improve on that as well. I can't help but think that losing the stress from words 1 and 2 will help an awful lot with the 3rd.


Yes, I said "HELP."


I hope I’m not too late.

What's Next? (and Thank you!)

To answer the question - yes, I feel much better. I also feel great about the reaction to yesterday’s post. You never know what to expect when you put out your first profanity laced tirade, (at least that’s what it seemed like at first) for folks to read. But you all made me understand that it wasn’t that at all, but instead was an important turning point, something to be well, proud of, and something to build on. Thank you!

So here goes - This is where I’m trying to go. This is what I’m trying to accomplish.

Every year, at least since I’ve been following his work Chris Brogan comes up with three words that will be his “guiding pillars” for what he will focus on in the coming year. Like me, Chris isn’t so much a fan of resolutions. He doesn’t think they help him very much. I kind of feel the same. Your mileage may vary. That’s okay.

In any case, Chris uses his words as a lighthouse, (his word) for his actions and efforts in the coming year. I do something like this with what I call True Intent, (Just scroll down a little if you want to read about True Intent. In reality that post is way too long, but it was my first year blogging so...) but that’s more about relationships and understanding other’s actions than it is about my own actions and my own goals for myself.

So this year, rather than saying something like: “Wow, that’s great that Chris does that. I really admire his work ethic,” I decided to come up with my own words. So I commented on Chris’ post.  

“All prefaced by change:

Career, Finance, Health - I keep talking about these, but never focus on them. Until they are fixed the rest is meaningless. Once they are fixed, the rest is everything.”

Those are my 3 words… and that’s where I started, and where I’m starting again after the temporary setback I talked about yesterday.

Do you have 3 words? Do you do resolutions?

What do you think?

Enough

Be forewarned - this is not your usual Jimmer post.

No, today I’m a little warm, a little hot around the edges, a little well, exasperated. No, actually I’m just a touch pissed off, and baby I’m here to rant.

I came into January this year with great intentions. I’m not a big resolution guy, but I’m also tired of seemingly always talking about and thinking about the same changes I need to make in my life. So, as January dawned on this year of our Lord 2011 I was pretty psyched to tackle some action items and make some real changes, some real adjustments, and... and...

It’s February 1st and I don’t feel like I have accomplished one damn thing, and I’ve only got one thing to say about it.

Ready?

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!

Alright I almost feel better. Thank you.

Now, I’m not going to be  deterred. I am going to stay on track I am going to make those major changes THIS YEAR! I will talk about all of them and about my assessment in the coming days. I will roll it all out there and keep working, but I had to take this pause, this moment. I just got back to some kind of normal yesterday and while I spent the day hunkered down, being comfy in my fav sweatshirt I also resolved that it would be the last day I would let weirdness even think about being in charge. I am in control, and I am tired of screwing around. Last night when I got home, I got back to work and I’m staying on that path.

I just need a couple things:

I need my dog to be healthy. He is the best, smartest, most communicative dog I have ever had. Hey Big Man upstairs or whoever is in charge - Mulligan didn’t do anything to you. If  you are pissed at me, take it out on me, but please stop fucking with my dog. Can I say that? Well, I just did.

I need to stop being free.

From now on outside of my house there are only a handful of people who get free tech support from Jimmer’s computer shop. They are My Mother-In-Law, My good friend’s parents who are a lot like my parents and / or have at least shared and taught me that much, and my nephew because he listens to what I tell him about his computer and doesn’t say “Can you help me fix this? You’re doing it wrong.” Everybody else,  pony up. No more free. No more 12 packs paying for 2+ years of tech support, no more of me making time during the middle of the week when I am busy as hell and then having the shit break the next flipping day anyway, and then when I say “what happened?” you go “I don’t know.” I can’t work with that. The computer just didn’t suddenly start or stop doing something. You want to use the Force when you’re using your computer that’s fine. I am not  Obi Wan Kenobi and you are not Luke fuckin Skywalker. You want me to help you? Pony up! Somewhere between $70 and $150 bucks an hour depending how bad you broke that shit. Not my problem. Sorry. You need another solution - Go find Yoda and see if his ass might be available.

Speaking, (pun intended) of not being free - I’m somehow, (happily) booked into 3 speaking gigs this spring and while I appreciate the opportunity and love to speak with an audience I also think these will be the last 3 that are free. These folks gave me my chance(s) and got me going so I’m not going to change up now and charge them or be anything but grateful to them for letting me come speak, but - I’m not giving anymore away after this. I don’t know how much it will cost,  probably more than tech help but less than a family of 4’s monthly grocery bill. Building talks takes time and resources that I just don’t have to give away anymore. I love that folks value my experience and abilities. I just can’t keep giving things away. Is that selfish? Probably.

Sorry.

If I may, I do have a couple more. Hey, I said it was a rant.

Here we go...

Stop mailing me shit I didn’t ask for. I don’t just toss. If you sent it to me I am foolish enough to think it might have some value. Of course I’m finding out most of it doesn’t have any value at all and it is pissing me off.

As such, I’ve got new mail rules.

If I owe you - mail me. If I know you - mail me. If you owe me - mail me. If you want to play, (MJB related) mail me.

Everybody else - Knock that shit off.

Politicians - don’t send me a list of crap you think you did or you think the other guy didn’t. I read the news everyday - pretend I’m Missouri and show me. Thanks.

Advertisers - You want to sell me your stuff? I am plugged in probably 15 - 20 hours a day. Go where I am. Wow me! Be newsworthy. You can pretend I’m Missouri too. Just get the hell out of my mailbox.

And while I’m at it - stay off my phone. Don’t call me unless you absofuckinglutely have to. I HATE the phone. 5 email accounts feed into my Blackberry - use one of ‘em. Text me. Let me know you want to get together and talk in person, maybe over a beverage - I’m in. Don’t call me to talk on the damn phone. While you’re figuring out how to say goodbye - most of us have accomplished at least 6 or 7 other meaningful things.

I like to talk to one person on the phone. I married her.

Don’t misunderstand. I love people. I just hate the damn phone.

Finally, I’ve got one that’s kinda work related.

If I’m helping somebody else, Wait.Your.Fuckin’Turn. My name is not “Excuse me.” You are not more important than the person I am helping. You are just being rude. Knock.It.Off!

Whew!

As I read those above paragraphs a part of me is proud and a part of me is appalled, but here’s the thing - at some point you have to worry about taking care of you. My family and I sacrifice a ton of time together. I sacrifice a lot of free time to do things for people for free and I just can’t do that anymore.

It’s not really about money. It is however about feeling valued, about feeling like more than just “a nice guy.” Hell, I’ll admit it; it’s about feeling some sense of self worth.

Probably all very selfish, but yeah I feel better. I’m tired of treading water and always saying I’m gonna. I’m tired of wasting time. I need to find out if there is something else, if there is something more. I need to actually accomplish something before it’s too late, and I need some time to do it.

Fair enough?

Seems like its about damn time doesn’t it?

Or did the rant just piss you off? Be honest. I can take it.