Ohio Idols for Independence

A guest post today. It really speaks for itself.  If you have a moment, we appreciate your time. Thanks.

Hi! I’m writing to invite you, your family and friends to the first annual Ohio Idols for Independence benefit concert. Our goal is to raise thousands of dollars to help kids with cerebral palsy find their voice at home, at school and in their communities.

This event is close to my heart because my daughter, Adriana, lives with cerebral palsy. While she falls on the severe end of CP, the amazing advancements in technology have given her the gift of independent mobility and communication.

I believe when kids with CP find their voice, regardless of physical ability, they experience true independence. Some kids find their voice through music, sports or dance. Other kids, like Adriana, need specialized care and equipment to find their voice. And as many of you know, these things are expensive. Proceeds from the event go to The MJB Foundation to provide funding for children so they get the specialized care, equipment and services they need just to be a kid.

Please join us in helping kids with CP by purchasing your tickets TODAY! Tickets are just $16 and they are available online at www.ohio-idol.com. You can also purchase tickets directly through me by writing a check to The MJB Foundation for the number of tickets you want. Just send me an email and I’ll bring them to you.

If you have any questions, you can email me or call me at 614-309-0799. For information about The MJB Foundation visit www.mjbfoundation.org.

Thank you!

Patty Lyons

Patty Lyons
p.lyons@sbcglobal.net
Parent & Chapter Leader
CP Parent Columbus, A Family Resource Group for Cerebral Palsy
Reaching For The Stars Central Ohio Chapter
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The Speech

(This is what it sounds like in my head. Who knows how it's going to come out...)

They say that: “Everyone who has ever passed through the doors of Bishop Ready knows that for as long as they live they have a home here and they are always welcome back.

Today, I feel that, and I thank you. I want to also thank those who nominated me, and accepted me into this select group. I am humbled by this honor, and I hope that in my life I am able to continue to do the work that brought me here, that is my passion. I want to thank an incredibly supportive family, a whole team of people, hundreds of supporters, and all the folks who inspire me to do the work I do. They’re the ones who deserve the recognition.

I was very nervous about being here today. I asked my girls, who some of you know, what I could say that wouldn’t make me sound like “some old” guy.

They just laughed.

So, I asked another friend, and she told me to just talk about what I do.  

As I look out at all of you I remember myself in those very same seats. I was excited for the future, even if I had no idea what that future held.

It took me sometime to figure it all out, and that’s okay. All I really knew was that whatever I did, it probably shouldn’t involve math. More importantly, I wanted to do it as best as I possibly could.

I learned here at Ready that each and every one of us has the ability to have an impact on our environment, and most especially the people around us.

Just being a Dad, carrying on my daughter Meghan’s legacy through our work with The MJB Foundation, and being the best Dad I can be to my daughters Kailey and Delaney I’ve found my life’s work, and somehow that lead me here today.

At The MJB Foundation we strive everyday to make sure that children, all of the children can know the real Joy that should be childhood.

As my children have grown I have stressed to them, and to their friends and other youth I have worked with, the importance of finding a way to enjoy their childhood.

That’s what life should be all about - Joy - and that is my wish for you today.

Thank you!

If Jim Brochowski can do it...

Maybe this is why:

As I stood up at third base I could see him looking at me and shaking his head. I had just smashed, (Hey I was 13 I still smashed things.) the ball into the fence in left field and while I was disappointed it didn’t go over I was also thrilled with what was probably the best hit of my life.
I scored on the next play and as I walked up to my Dad he said: “Just think how far it would have gone if it had been a strike.”

Ouch!

He was right though, the ball I hit was pitched almost over my head. As the infamous movie line goes: I like the high ones!

Now, I love my Dad and I don’t blame him for anything about my upbringing, but my point is I always have greater expectations, It’s taken a long time for me to learn how to be satisfied, and well, I don’t handle praise all that well.

The year to date has been a good one. The MJB Foundation has raised almost $7,000 with an event still to come, I’ve lost 42 pounds, (as of this morning), and I learned a couple of weeks ago that I’m to be inducted into my high school’s hall of fame, mostly for my work with the foundation.

Right and left I’m being congratulated and praised. Folks are using words like inspirational, and...

… And I have no idea how to handle this.

My wife even wants to have a celebratory get together after the HOF induction. She created a Facebook event, and made me a host so I can invite people who are on my friends list, but maybe not on hers.

Really?

“Hi, Come celebrate me?”

That just feels wrong. Egotistical, making a big deal out of nothing. To me, it’s just weird.

I feel like if I can do what I do, anybody can do what I do, and the reality is it’s not me. It’s an incredibly supportive family. It’s a whole team of people. It’s hundreds of supporters. It’s the folks who inspire me that help me do the things I do. They’re the ones who deserve the recognition.

I’m told I just need to learn to say thank you and move on, but when people are heaping this high praise, thank you doesn’t seem like enough. Not even close.

A friend once told me that she loves exclamation points because they add emphasis to what is otherwise ordinary. Okay - let’s give this a try...

Thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Hall of Fame? Really?

Dear Ms. Kelly,

I have to confess that I spent a considerable amount of time trying to write "my story," as it pertains to my Bishop Ready High School Hall of Fame nomination. Like many, I have a difficult time with this type of notoriety as I just consider what I do…well, what I do. With that said, what follows is just a summary, rather than some dressed-up version. I don't know how to do that.

I have 3 daughters. That’s not what I say when folks ask because it’s awkward and uncomfortable for them sometimes. Running The MJB Foundation is my way of keeping alive the legacy of my daughter Meghan Joy. This isn’t the life’s work I would have guessed for myself, but it is a mission I embrace, a position I am proud to hold. I’m Meghan Joy’s Daddy, but I’m also very proud of Kailey and Delaney. Being there for all of my children, in whatever capacity, is my biggest priority.

Coming out of Bishop Ready I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life except that it would be better if it didn't involve math. Naturally then, I became a theatre major at The Ohio State University. I thought that was it, the career for me. I even came back and directed a couple of plays at Ready. At the end of the academic year I realized that I wasn't ready for college in the traditional sense. I auditioned and was accepted to the American Musical and Dramatic Academy in New York, but having spent more than $600 in less than 2 days there, and not having received a scholarship I decided instead to continue to work at the library, a job I'd had since my senior year of high school. 

In 1988, I met the woman who would later become my wife. I still didn't know what I wanted to be when I grew up, but I knew that I wanted to be the best husband and father I could possibly be. I think childhood and adolescence is absolutely the hardest thing any of us will have to deal with in our lives (save for extraordinary circumstances), and I knew I wanted to make it as easy as I possibly could for my children.

In 1993, our twin daughters Kailey and Meghan Joy were born. We were not expecting twins, and there were many complications. The whole story is here. 
http://www.mjbfoundation.org/about-the-mjb-foundation/the-story-of-meghan-joy/

In May of 1994, we were devastated by the death of Meghan Joy. In an attempt to find some peace, some reason, my wife and I began to reach out to friends and family who told us that Meghan had inspired them, that she had a profound effect on their lives and many others. To continue her memory and preserve her legacy we started holding a golf tournament every year as we, and many of our friends, were avid golfers. Each year for 9 years we had the golf outing and a big party dubbed "The MJB" to celebrate Meghan's life. We settled into a pattern, and daughter Delaney joined us in 1996.

In 2004, our 10th year, we wanted to do something big. In talking to a friend I realized that we could do more with the story of Meghan, that we should use her inspiration to help other children. Children who, like Meghan faced more than their fair share of challenges. Cerebral palsy, autism and a whole host of other diagnoses affect the daily lives of so many children, and the resources for helping them are few and far between. So began The MJB Foundation.

We held our first Golf for Joy, the 10th annual family golf tournament and party remembering Meghan's inspiration in June of 2004. We raised a little over $1,800. We gained our 501(c) 3 status in 2005. We never looked back. In 2010 we added a bowling event and, to date, we have raised more than $40,000 for children with challenges in Central Ohio. From our Mission Statement: By sponsoring recreational and educational activities, donating physical goods and services, and making monetary contributions we hope to bring Joy to these children. 

When we started The MJB Foundation it was easy to identify a need that wasn’t being met. Simply put, some children just don’t have access, or enough access, as the case may be. When Meghan was born in 1993 we had excellent insurance, everything was paid for. If we needed equipment or some adaptive device for Meghan, no matter the cost, it was covered. In 2004 this type of insurance for anyone was nothing more than a faded memory, and the situation has not improved today. 

Even the children with the most challenges are often left at the bottom of some bureaucratic list with not enough funding to obtain the resources they need to just be kids, to experience the Joy that should be childhood. 

The MJB Foundation wants to be there to fill those gaps, to find those children who aren’t experiencing that Joy and help them with the resources they need. Whether that is an adaptive tricycle, some kind of therapy, a special tray or just an adaptive piece of furniture; we work with organizations like FCBDD to identify children in need, provide the needed funding and send them a gift of Joy from The MJB Foundation. 

Our next event is coming up in November as we are presenting Ohio Idols for Independence – Helping Kids with Cerebral Palsy Find Their Voice in conjunction with Ohio Idol, and CP Parent Columbus, a Family Resource Group for Cerebral Palsy. Attendance is expected to exceed 1,500 and the event should raise more than any other we have held to date. 

So does that make me a Hall of Fame inductee? I don't know. Even when I eventually graduated from college in 2001 I wasn't sure what I wanted to be when I grow up, but I have found that I really like to work with kids, and I really like to work with non-profits, particularly organizations that benefit folks who get missed. My community is very important to me... with a lot of emphasis on family. I’m also currently the treasurer for the Westland Band Boosters. (I had some spare time I needed to fill.)

I told my girls that they didn't come with an instruction manual and that we were going to figure out the best way to do things together. As my children have grown I have stressed to them, and to their friends and other youth I have worked with, the importance of finding a way to enjoy their childhood. 

I coached my girls’ sports teams when they played, and I have been fortunate to be a "second Dad" to many of their friends. I still have kids today whose eyes light up as they greet me with an embrace. Many of them call me "Poppa Chow." That's enough of a reward for me.

Resolved for Dummies

As I paddled backwards I watched Netter working on her reel and line and realized that for the first time, in pretty much ever, I was going to have to do this myself.

Patiently, I maneuvered the canoe so it angled just so. Quietly I put down my paddle and picked up my rod. A quick side arm flick of the wrist putting my line exactly where I knew he was...

Pow, the fish grabbed my artificial worm and started to swim.

Furiously I started to reel him in, then remembered that I needed to be more patient and not let him jump, or otherwise find a way to pull away from my line... and there he was.

As I put down my fishing pole and pulled the fish from the water I could see that he wasn’t all that special. Average size, not all that big, not even as big as two I had caught the day before actually, but there was a difference.

I didn’t wait for Netter to help paddle me into position, or wait for her to say: “Good cast Honey,” to know I had gotten it right. I had put all the lessons of our 19 previous trips to Akita, everything Ranger Annette, (as we only half jokingly call her) and her Dad had taught me, grabbed opportunity by the hand and I just caught it. I mean I just did it.

You know... like the Nike commercial.

Incredible satisfaction, the only one of my fish we took a picture of the whole weekend in fact.

Today, I am focusing on that as we mark the 18th anniversary of the passing of our daughter Meghan Joy.

I’m reflecting a lot on past and current successes and wondering why sometimes it takes me so long to learn.

Just do it Jim!

In February of last year I let loose my rant of a lifetime...

Because I wasn’t getting anything done.

For the remainder of 2011 I tried to “get stuff done.”

I had my three words and I tried to stick to those, but as 2012 approached I realized that I wasn’t going to accomplish everything I had set out to in 2011, and I needed to find more time, to get stuff done.

I’ve held off talking about it here because I didn’t want to have yet another - New Year’s or Lenten resolution, reflection, good gawd you’re making me gag with all this mushy, gushy life is too short, fulfill your dreams blah, blah, blah, blah, BLAH... and so on...

But as I sit here today and think about Meghan Joy, the Foundation we have established in her memory, and the children we have helped because of her with our golf tournament and bowling outing, I can’t help but think about how important it is to actually DO things.

After I did that little time study last year I started doing things. Instead of finding systems, and books, and ways to get organized and accomplish more, and blah, blah, blah... I just started doing things.

This pile - where does it go? Move it!
That pile - what do I need to do with that? Do it!
That phone call. That letter. Make it. Send it.

Just do it.

It still becomes quite a process sometimes, and I admit that I still overthink things, and I am very guilty of finding tasks that “need to be done,” to replace tasks that “really need to be done.” (I call this cleaning the junk drawer, a theory derived from this article by one of my favorite writers.)

Still, I’ve been steadily pecking away at things, finding the most success with getting healthy - which I thought would actually be the most difficult of the 3 words I wanted to tackle. (Or maybe getting healthy is cleaning out my junk drawer.)

I've been working on it since March 12 because I was supposed to start working with a trainer that day, but hurt my knee. I had to rehab it anyway so I stuck to the diet part of the deal and started with work in the hot tub, then walking, skating, onto the elliptical, and a new obsession with biking. I just told the trainer I would probably not be back because I really enjoy the cardio work I’ve been doing, although I really do get a lot from being on his email list with the fitness information he shares. I must confess I don’t agree with all of it, but I am learning and also remembering a lot from when I worked out as a young person.  

I've done something every day since with a couple of exceptions. I took the first weekend of March Madness off to spend time with buddies doing what buddies do when they are watching basketball. Would not have been a pretty calorie count, although I did cut out the fried food, pizza, and such after day 1. I also sometimes cheat on Saturdays and depending what I'm doing that can get a little out of hand. I'm coming into this with an open mind trying to learn and make changes that will be long term. As of today I’m proud to report I’ve lost 15 pounds and I’m halfway to my goal.

In the meantime, aside from the health kick I’m just doing the work. It takes me away from the blog and some other mediums more than I’d like, but in the long haul I think it will make for more quality in all areas of my life.

I am resolved to make it so.

iWalk for Ryan

We met our friends Greg and Kelly in 1999, (maybe late 1998). Over the course of the next few years we spent a lot of time with them, watched them get married, helped them move into an apartment together, and did all the things that fast friends do.

But unfortunately, in this world where we are all too busy and time progresses so rapidly eventually we just didn’t spend as much time together. They were moving into a new home and beginning to raise a family, Netter was closing down her day care business and rejoining the work force because our girls were much older and always involved with school activities. You know how it goes...

We made sure we got to see Kelly and Greg as often as possible, meeting for the occasional dinner, drinks, night out and such, but as they began to have a family we were all just always busy.

Fortunately, we would still try and reconnect on occasion, but Netter and I never really got to know their kids - at least not then.

As Kelly and Greg’s kids have gotten older we have all tried to make sure we still spend some time together with our girls babysitting their boys. Still, we didn’t really know the boys. We always kept up with what they were doing, activities they were involved in, Facebook pics and the like, but we didn’t know them.  

We knew that Kelly and Greg’s younger son Ryan had been diagnosed with Autism so we started to ask a few questions, not prying, not getting in their business, but you know these are our friends, younger friends, don’t see them as often as we’d like to friends, but friends and we are concerned.

When we would get together and the girls would babysit at their house we always said hi to Greg and Kelly’s boys, but they were flirting with the girls, bargaining for bedtimes with their Mom - typical kid stuff. One evening their oldest son was being particularly flirty, so much so that I didn’t even notice that Ryan was not involved until a little tug came at my knee.

I looked down to see the brightest smile and a little boy with his arms outstretched for a hug.

“Wow!” I thought, and I kneeled down to give him a hug and ask him how he was, and what he was up to. Was he going to have fun that night with the girls, stuff like that.

… and I didn’t think anything of it - until...

The next time we all got together the whole scene repeated itself, and the next time, and again.

This little boy was making time for me, time to say hello, and give me a hug and heck I admit it I was hooked.

Ryan has my heart big time. I would do anything for him.

Autism has always been one of my hot button conditions. Why on earth God, (or whoever you believe in) could screw around with children with something like that is just beyond any comprehension. I’m not going to get up on my soapbox, but suffice to say finding a cure for Autism is a cause I fully support.

Remember, I run The MJB Foundation. We’re all about making sure kids experience the Joy of childhood, the Joy that all kids should experience. Anything that gets in the way of that is not alright with me.

So yesterday, on behalf of The MJB Foundation and our family we all attended Walk Now for Autism Speaks at The Ohio State University here in Columbus. Joining Ryan and his family and friends to support this cause was the very least we could do for this magical little boy.

I shot a video for The MJB Foundation blog. I thought I might share it here too. Here I will also confess that this is take 2. I got a little emotional in the first take. If you notice the gaps in this take, that’s me “controlling” the emotion.



If you can’t see the video click here.

If you’d like to join Ryan’s team please click here.

Thanks.

We're All Batman

This is my speech from The MJB Foundation's 17th annual Golf for Joy today. It is being cross posted at The MJB Foundation blog.
When I was a little kid, and even a little bit today I would wonder how super heroes decided who to save? I mean you see Batman saving Vicky Vale, and Spider Man saving  Mary Jane. Heck, Superman turns the world backwards to save Lois Lane.

But let’s say it’s not their girlfriend. It’s not an easy or obvious choice, although even those choices aren’t always easy or obvious. 50 people on a bus or my girlfriend? Hmmm... Let me think about that...

What about if there is more than one crime going on at the same time? We see stuff blowing up on the screen, but you know some body is being robbed in the next block over right? Bad stuff happens to good people all the time. How does the super hero decide?

Here’s what I think.

Sometimes the super hero lets us decide. Because sometimes we are the super hero.

I’m gonna let you in on a secret - Actually, it might not be a secret at all... Still, I want to share it with you today because it’s something that is really special to me.

Ready?

I     Am     Batman

I know. I know. Most of you already knew that, What you don’t know is the secret behind why I am Batman? The core of my “super-hero - ness” if you will...

I am Batman because of you, and what’s more... You are Batman too.

So, uh Jimmer where are you going with this?

Think about this... How is Batman different from you or me or anybody else?

He can’t fly. He doesn’t shoot webs. He doesn’t talk to fish. He doesn’t have a mighty shield. He certainly is not a god.

He’s human. A regular everyday person like you, and like me.

Except...

For the toys.

Remember in the first Batman movie with Michael Keaton where it seemed like the Joker was always one step ahead and then Batman would press some button on his utility belt and swing off to safety. That’s how he rescued Vicky Vale right? and then the Joker said:

“Where does he get all those wonderful toys?”

Well in this world where I am Batman, where you are Batman - I get all my wonderful toys from you, and we get to try to save all these wonderful kids the Joy of childhood. Or at least share it with them anyway.

And just like Superman honors his parents Jor - El and Lara, Spiderman is driven by the death of his Uncle Ben and Batman is driven by the tragic death of his parents - we are all driven by a magical little girl named Meghan Joy.

We don’t have any of the “cool toys,” but we do have the love and support of family and friends and I feel very fortunate to have that support, to feel that love, to share the gifts that we can with folks who need them.

Because while we’re not really super heroes, we are all deciding to help, and that makes all the difference.

Thank you for all for supporting The MJB Foundation. (and coming to Golf for Joy 2011.)

Do It For Daron

Today, as we prep for The MJB Foundation’s Bowl for Joy on Saturday if I may, I’d like to share a story of a different way to support children and young people with an altogether different challenge.

Tomorrow, Tuesday February 8, 2011 is Purple Pledge Day. Not sure what that is? You can check it out here.  

From the website: On November 13th, 2010, Daron Richardson took her own life. She was just 14 years old. Join us in inspiring conversations and showing support not only for Daron Richardson's family, but for all our young people who suffer in silence from the pain and stigma of mental Illness. Register your school or organization and Wear Purple (Daron's favourite colour) on February 8th.

Last Thursday when I encountered this thought on Twitter an idea started to form in my head.

You saw the smoke right?

What seems like years ago I took charge of buying new hockey jerseys for my Tuesday night C League Hockey Team, Brian’s Bail Bonds. I took a poll, made some suggestions and sent off the order. We were all excited, and then the jerseys arrived. We thought we were ordering jerseys with purple as an accent color. What we got was just slightly different. See...

Purple is one of my favorite colors so I have to confess I really like the jerseys. Most of the fellas? Not so much. Though we had waited almost 10 years to order the purple jerseys, we had new black jerseys only 3 years later, and the guys have been teasing me about the purple jerseys ever since.

From time to time we’ve had to pull out the “purple jerseys,” for example, when our colors were too close to our opponents and we were the visiting team so we had to find an alternative. I always heard about it. All in fun, but I heard about it nonetheless.

This season we are once again getting new jerseys, white ones to take the place of the “purple ones,” which as you can tell from the picture are primarily white. I have to admit I was a little sad about this. As I said, I really like the purple jersey and over time I’ve come to enjoy the banter that goes along with pulling them out every so often. Still, it does seem like it’s time to put them away. But do we really have to just discard them?

It turns out, we don’t. The send off will be a little nicer. The retirement of the purple jersey will have a very important purpose after all.

As you can surmise from the tweet Daron Richardson is the daughter of Luke Richardson former Columbus Blue Jacket Captain. So with tomorrow being my team’s night to play hockey, I sent the fellas the link to the website along with this message:

“We're all hockey players. A lot of us have kids. This affects kids and families and, well a lot of things and folks in so many ways. Let's wear the purple jerseys, (as many as we have) on Tuesday one last time for Luke Richardson and his daughter Daron...Maybe we can take a picture and then retire the darn things and I'll feel like maybe they were worth it after all, and you can all stop busting my chops about 'em.”

Of course, because they really are a great group of guys The Brian’s Bail Bonds Family was immediately on board with the idea. So, tomorrow night at 9:30 at the Chiller North we’ll take to the ice one last time donning the purple jerseys. We’d love it if you could join us, but if you can’t or you don’t think you can bear to watch C League Hockey we all would completely understand. We’re just happy our wives and families come and watch us... sometimes. :-)

Please take some time tomorrow and remember Daron and her family, give your child, teenager, or significant other a hug and share a good and positive thought for the many families and young people affected by mental illness.

Thanks!

Neither Rain nor Sleet nor Snowpocalypse 2010...

Sitting in my office watching the snowfall tonight and wondering just what kind of impact it is going to have on our very first Bowl for Joy tournament tomorrow.

In 15 years of  The MJB / Golf for Joy we've had one 10 minute rainstorm, and one rain shortened tourney that didn't happen until our 14th year.

First year of Bowl for Joy...

I'm looking at Snowpocalypse 2010. Well, that's what they're calling it around here it seems.

We sort of fumbled things with the rain in our 14th year. I guess Mother Nature decided we needed to be tested right out of the box in our first year of Bowl for Joy.

That's okay. I can handle it. I know that a lot of folks are waiting for me to make the call. Some are probably wondering why I haven't called things off already. After all the forecasts...

Are exactly that - forecasts. I deal with what I can see when I need to see it. Right now, I don't need to see anything. It's not like anybody is catching a plane to be here. Our furthest travelers are coming from the Cincinnati area. They will have plenty of notice. 

I'm also a bit of an optimist when it comes to weather. Kind of like this guy:

USGA - Rain  (2003) - 0:30 (USA)

Don't worry, I'm also well aware that this isn't all about me. In fact it's not about me in any way shape or form. I get that.

I'll be up early in the morning tomorrow. No, that doesn't happen very often on my day off, but I know I have a responsibility to our attendees, and I take that very seriously.

Keep an eye here for updates. They'll be here when you need them.

In fact: Here is our latest update now from a member of our board. I'd hold him to this. I plan to... ;-)
As of 10:32 p.m. today:

The Bowl for Joy is ON!!! The major streets are clear and will be clear in the morning. Sawmill Lanes is at Bethel and Sawmill, two of the major streets on the NW side. There will be no problems getting there from 315 or 270. Just leave 15 minutes earlier than you planned. I will even buy you a "I Made It To The MJB" celebratory beer. This thing is on.

Sorting things Out and Catching Up

Just a quick note on what's been happening. I can't wear my glasses when the camera is on because of the glare so there may be a technical glitch or two, like I can't really see if the stuff on my desk is all blurry or not. Sorry about that. Thank you all for every bit of your time in the last year. It has meant so so much to be able to reach out and connect with so many great folks.

Greetings from the South

I'm in Greenville, South Carolina this week spending time with my cousin "Butch" and her family. A nice vacation away, something we haven't been able to do a lot of in recent years not having a family vehicle we felt was suitable for long distance travel.

We kept our vacations in Ohio the past few years, having only the Ranger to drive and not wanting to cram both girls into the jump seats, which are just not that comfortable for very long trips.

This year, as I'm sure everyone knows we got a new (to us) van when the cost to repair our old Passport exceeded the price of the vehicle itself.

We immediately started planning this trip. Butch and her family are some of our favorite relatives. She and I have been close through the years always sharing a bond that cousins hold. Together with Butch's sister Christie we traversed the path to adulthood, sometimes losing touch but always having each other to reach out to when needed. That's how Butch got her nickname in fact, but that's another story entirely...

This week we had planned on getting caught up, catching some rays, enjoying the holiday and watching our kids get to know one another. We're doing all of that, but we're doing something more, and maybe even something more important.

I won't get into a lot of details, and I'm glad there weren't many people left to see it, but I'm sure it's no secret that there was some less than pleasantness with my folk's visit to Golf for Joy. We were glad they came to the tournament, having dealt with a bit of turmoil over the last year or so, and we were very glad they joined us. We were unsure of the hows and the whys, but eager to put an end to the confrontation.

Unfortunately, that didn't happen last weekend. Don't worry, I've no plans to share the blow-by-blow. If I hadn't felt so many reaching out with their support I wouldn't be sharing any of this today. (Thank you all for all of your support and affirmations.)

Still to be perfectly honest it put me into quite a tailspin, and Sunday was a test of my resiliency and a testament to my wife's patience, nurturing, and understanding. If I haven't said it before or enough - Netter is far and away THE BEST, and I am so lucky to have her in my life.

Further encounters throughout the week also found me held up, quieter at parties to the point that it was noticed, staring through people who looked at me as if to say... "What in the heck is up? What is wrong with you?"

I don't know. I feel like I have lost something, maybe... Something has changed. A shift in the universe, something very uncomfortable has happened.

What did I do wrong? What could I have done differently? What exactly is different?

The answer quite simply is, "I don't know."

and I hate that -

When these things happen we tend to reach out to the people that know us best, who've known us the longest, who aren't afraid to tell us what they think, to opinionate, to commiserate, to help us find perspective. Sometimes even to tell us what to do - or at least make really good suggestions.

So that's what I'm doing, and Butch and her family are doing a fine job of helping me.

Is it just me? I don't want it to be about me. I try everyday to be sure that it is not about me.

While this blog is very often a reflection of what is going on in my life, what is happening to me, I write here because I know these things happen to all of us, and I share in the hopes that we might all find answers, and solutions, and that it will be about all of us...

So we can all grow and find the answers...

Together.

Don't you think together is better?

Grouchy? Moody? Worried? Nervous?

All of the above?

At the conference I attended last week the organizer said something along the lines of 363 1/2 days out of the year he hates the event, but for the 1 1/2 days it's happening he loves it.

Though my timeline of angst is quite a bit shorter, I knew where he was coming from.

Every day I am grateful for Golf for Joy, The MJB Foundation, and everyone we get to share it with. Still there is one week that gets under my skin.

This week...

...and again I am a nervous wreck.

Are our deadlines being met? Will we have enough golfers signed up? Will those golfers all get registered and paid in time?

How do the foursomes look? What kind of speech am I gonna give?

Next week, all I'll have to worry about will be the weather. (Praying for sunshine.)

This week I'm just plain worried.

This year our new board has done a terrific job of taking the pressure off, each contributing in their own way, accomplishing task after task on time, ahead of schedule, and within budget. Netter has been wonderful about remembering all of the little details. K & D have done an outstanding job of doing whatever we need them to, when we need them to.

I know it's all silliness. Everything always works out. Everything is always fine. The speech gets written. The golfers have a good time. Money is raised for a good cause. Everyone has a great time.

But sometimes I just can't help it. You know?

I know that at some point this Saturday (probably after the mail comes), I'll be fine.

In the interim?

I need to find that smile.

If you think of something - make me laugh!

Thanks!