Resolved for Dummies

As I paddled backwards I watched Netter working on her reel and line and realized that for the first time, in pretty much ever, I was going to have to do this myself.

Patiently, I maneuvered the canoe so it angled just so. Quietly I put down my paddle and picked up my rod. A quick side arm flick of the wrist putting my line exactly where I knew he was...

Pow, the fish grabbed my artificial worm and started to swim.

Furiously I started to reel him in, then remembered that I needed to be more patient and not let him jump, or otherwise find a way to pull away from my line... and there he was.

As I put down my fishing pole and pulled the fish from the water I could see that he wasn’t all that special. Average size, not all that big, not even as big as two I had caught the day before actually, but there was a difference.

I didn’t wait for Netter to help paddle me into position, or wait for her to say: “Good cast Honey,” to know I had gotten it right. I had put all the lessons of our 19 previous trips to Akita, everything Ranger Annette, (as we only half jokingly call her) and her Dad had taught me, grabbed opportunity by the hand and I just caught it. I mean I just did it.

You know... like the Nike commercial.

Incredible satisfaction, the only one of my fish we took a picture of the whole weekend in fact.

Today, I am focusing on that as we mark the 18th anniversary of the passing of our daughter Meghan Joy.

I’m reflecting a lot on past and current successes and wondering why sometimes it takes me so long to learn.

Just do it Jim!

In February of last year I let loose my rant of a lifetime...

Because I wasn’t getting anything done.

For the remainder of 2011 I tried to “get stuff done.”

I had my three words and I tried to stick to those, but as 2012 approached I realized that I wasn’t going to accomplish everything I had set out to in 2011, and I needed to find more time, to get stuff done.

I’ve held off talking about it here because I didn’t want to have yet another - New Year’s or Lenten resolution, reflection, good gawd you’re making me gag with all this mushy, gushy life is too short, fulfill your dreams blah, blah, blah, blah, BLAH... and so on...

But as I sit here today and think about Meghan Joy, the Foundation we have established in her memory, and the children we have helped because of her with our golf tournament and bowling outing, I can’t help but think about how important it is to actually DO things.

After I did that little time study last year I started doing things. Instead of finding systems, and books, and ways to get organized and accomplish more, and blah, blah, blah... I just started doing things.

This pile - where does it go? Move it!
That pile - what do I need to do with that? Do it!
That phone call. That letter. Make it. Send it.

Just do it.

It still becomes quite a process sometimes, and I admit that I still overthink things, and I am very guilty of finding tasks that “need to be done,” to replace tasks that “really need to be done.” (I call this cleaning the junk drawer, a theory derived from this article by one of my favorite writers.)

Still, I’ve been steadily pecking away at things, finding the most success with getting healthy - which I thought would actually be the most difficult of the 3 words I wanted to tackle. (Or maybe getting healthy is cleaning out my junk drawer.)

I've been working on it since March 12 because I was supposed to start working with a trainer that day, but hurt my knee. I had to rehab it anyway so I stuck to the diet part of the deal and started with work in the hot tub, then walking, skating, onto the elliptical, and a new obsession with biking. I just told the trainer I would probably not be back because I really enjoy the cardio work I’ve been doing, although I really do get a lot from being on his email list with the fitness information he shares. I must confess I don’t agree with all of it, but I am learning and also remembering a lot from when I worked out as a young person.  

I've done something every day since with a couple of exceptions. I took the first weekend of March Madness off to spend time with buddies doing what buddies do when they are watching basketball. Would not have been a pretty calorie count, although I did cut out the fried food, pizza, and such after day 1. I also sometimes cheat on Saturdays and depending what I'm doing that can get a little out of hand. I'm coming into this with an open mind trying to learn and make changes that will be long term. As of today I’m proud to report I’ve lost 15 pounds and I’m halfway to my goal.

In the meantime, aside from the health kick I’m just doing the work. It takes me away from the blog and some other mediums more than I’d like, but in the long haul I think it will make for more quality in all areas of my life.

I am resolved to make it so.

Perspective

photo credit to Netter.

I took this one.

Sometimes, in fact a lot of times, it's just depends how you look at things...

Took this one with Mulligan pulling me the other way.

I Suck At Fall

If I had to pick a season to call my favorite it would be Fall. The start of hockey season comes in the Fall. I love college football - Fall. My favorite beer is only available in the Fall. Unless you stock up which I may or may not be guilty of doing. Once. Last year. Because it was the first time it occurred to me. Yes, I probably will, might do it again this year.

But I digress... Sorry.

My birthday is in the Fall. My wife’s birthday is too. Halloween is my favorite holiday. Okay, I don’t really like holidays in general, but if I had to pick I pick Halloween. Hard to hate on free candy right?

Oh, and I really like the word “Autumn.”

But still, I suck at Fall. I get really sad. I get grouchy. I just want to sleep all the time. (Yes, even more than usual Dave.) I hole up in my office and stare blankly at my computer screen for hours on end. If you ask me, I don’t even remember what I was staring at...

… and I don’t know why. I don’t remember Fall always being like this, or maybe it was. As a young person I didn’t like Fall because I was not a fan of school, but that’s normal right. (Hey, I used normal in reference to myself. That doesn’t happen very often. Let me have this one.)

Still, as I got older, and especially after I met Netter I learned to really appreciate the beauty of Fall, the changes in the leaves, (even when Netter was pregnant and I had to rake them), the colors, the smells, the way the sun sets differently, the crisp autumn air. I love it all.

But then there’s that drag. Even as I write this my head feels heavy and my eyelids are drooping. I could be asleep in minutes.

This fall I’ve been working very hard to stay on task, to get things done, to make progress on my 3 words. I’ve been successful sometimes and sometimes I catch myself - just - staring - into - space.

Netter thinks I have seasonal affective disorder. I suppose that could be true, but I have always had the mindset that if you’re not bleeding or dying you play the game. And so I go on...

I try to stay on track, and focus. The girls are busy now. K just went off to college. D is caught up in band. Plenty to watch and see and listen to. Netter and I have been going on regular walks, exploring our neighborhood parks and trails. We take Mulligan along when we can.

We get really busy in the Fall.

I love Fall!

So why do I suck at it so much?

What do you think?

Easter -

I'm always anxious in the springtime. Tired of the winter doldrums, of the gloom and gray.
Eager for the sunshine and the warmth that is to come.

I've never been a winter person. In my not always so humble opinion, there is one good thing about winter and we've learned how to make ice indoors which is where hockey should be played anyway.

In Central Ohio it seems we tend to hang onto winter a little longer for some reason, I think it's our local weather folk. They really like the swings in temperature - you know 30 one day, 70 the next.

It is a funny thing when you think about it. I remember one Easter morning Netter and I got the twins all dressed up in their pretty little dresses with a sweater for the light breeze that was blowing, and off to church we went.

One and one half hours later, it was snowing and Grandpa was none too happy that his granddaughters did not have coats. Yikes! Fortunately it was just a short walk to the car, and we quickly rushed home for warmer clothes for all of us.

But while it snowed that Easter Sunday, I have always found Easter to be the day that gives this sun starved individual a little hope, a little drive towards summer.

There are of course, the religious meanings of the day, the story of our Lord's rising from the Dead is, and should be our central focus. Still, as someone who believes you don't necessarily have to go to church to be religious I tend to focus on the more "modern day," applications sometimes - i.e. the rebirth that is spring.

As a golfer the spring time is one of my favorite times of year. I'm reminded of a piece I wrote sometime ago. I blogged about it in the fall, but I'd like to post it again today so I can remember, so I can, well so I can be spiritual.

(Plus, I must confess it's one of my favorite pieces and I like to get those out and dust them off every once in a while.)

Early in the morning at the golf course, usually on the first long par 5 and particularly on courses which are more natural than man-made, i.e. wetlands have been preserved, animals are still in abundance, there is a fine mist that gives me an incredibly peaceful feeling. I’m playing my favorite game. I’m out in nature. I’m enjoying the company of friends and companions. It’s hard to explain it briefly but trust me it’s awe-inspiring. To get a sense for it, go outside some morning early in your barefeet (when it’s warmer), walk in the dew-covered grass, take big gulpfuls of air and try and think of something or do something you really enjoy (like drinking a fresh cup of coffee). Try and take notice of everything outside - the sky, the clouds, the birds, the ants on your driveway. Now look up.

Way up.

Get it?

Spring - A New Beginning

The weatherman says it's a balmy 56 degrees outside today. The sun is shining, and I hear tell there's a nice breeze blowing outside. (I knew I should have gone out for lunch.)

Today is also Ash Wednesday, the first day of Lent.

I'm struck then by the dichotomy of these two thoughts...

On one hand, it's a beautiful day to enjoy, even relish; to stay outside as long as possible, to take a walk or roll down the window and let the wind blow back your hair as you drive. (Anybody else hear the Boss as they read that line?)

I know 56 isn't all that warm, but who can deny the magic of sunshine?

On the other hand for many today is a day of sacrifice, a day of fasting and remembering the solemnity of the Lenten season in preparation for the joy of Easter.

Discussions today center around what folks are giving up for Lent, or how they might survive forty days without eating meat on Fridays, or even for dinner tonight.

The joy? The sacrifice?

Folks I pick joy!

REALLY Jimmer?!? We thought you were a good Catholic kid?!?!

Yes, really.

I don't think about what I might sacrifice for Lent. I'm not very good at it, and I don't think God wants me to promise and fail.

Oh, the many times I have failed.

I remember once as a kid my friends and I were all going to give up swearing. On the way into church on Ash Wednesday we all spewed out every string of vile curse words one might imagine. The doors closed and we all vowed that was it. We wouldn't swear again for at least the next 40 days.

Guess how long that lasted?

One year I gave up Coca Cola which at the time was a HUGE sacrifice for me. Know what?

It's just as easy to get addicted to Welsh's Grape Soda, which includes some pretty interesting side effects as most of the Moms in the crowd can probably attest.

-Eew, did I really just write that? Hee hee =)

I've had a few successes over the years, but the reality is that most of my stories of Lenten sacrifice end at about 7 days max, sometimes sooner...

Still, I am a good Catholic kid, or at least, (I hope) someone with God in the right place in his heart so I like to try to do something each year.

What I do think about for Lent is how I might change, i.e. what can I do better... and today is a day of spring board for change

With the emphasis on Spring. With the emphasis on Joy!

So then, what to do?

The last two years I've worked harder and harder on True Intent which I've talked about before.

This year though, I've got something else in mind.

*Note* This is where it gets personal today.

This may or may not surprise a few folks in the crowd, but I have a secret.

I haven't been to church in over a year. (What?! Guffaw?!?! Gasp!?!?! or "I knew that.")

It's true. For a number of reasons I'm not going to get into today I haven't been. Some of the reasons are good. Some of the reasons are not so good. Some of the reasons are, well they're just bad.

Now before you get concerned that I'm turning the blog into my bully pulpit, let me reassure you - that is not my usual style. I'm just here to share. I don't often preach. (Did you think I would say I never preach?)

So, I'm sharing that I'll be making every effort to get myself back to the Lord's house this year.

None of my reasons were about Him anyway. He knows that because I still talk to Him all the time.

So today, as I look around, feel the sunshine on my face and the wind in my hair, I'll have a good feeling inside, and I'll enjoy the day and all it brings, all that is to come.

I hope you enjoy it too.

I think He knew just what He was doing when He created today.

What do you think?

Sure you're in shape Jimmer

Today, the library is holding a wellness fair which reminds me that as this is the year of inventory for me I have spent some time thinking about my physical condition. I was going to say working on my physical condition, but well you'll see...

First a little back story.

In the summer of 2007, I began a series of regular visits to my doctor where I discovered some interesting things - I also re-discovered why I don't like going to the doctor.

After all, who can be thrilled about a visit that starts out thusly -

Nurse - "James Brocono#$$%^*w**($#@izzki."

Jimmer - "It's Bro-chow-ski."

Nurse - "Oh - that's easier than I thought." (Ya think?) "Okay, please step on the scale. I need to get your height and weight."

Jimmer - "Can you just write down short and fat?"

Nurse - "That's not how this works!" (Seriously reminded me of some nuns I had in school.)

Okay so I backed off at this point. My joke didn't go over well, and my last name is often butchered. What can you do?

As the appointment progressed I found out I have high cholesterol, as in seriously high. I also found out my blood pressure is in the high range, I had a separated shoulder, (hockey injury), and doctors in general have no tolerance for bad habits of any kind. (People at work read this blog. I don't want to risk any misinterpretations so you're gonna have to use your imagination about my bad habits.) In general, I needed to get in better shape.

Now, any parent knows finding time to exercise is a delusional endeavor. Still, I've tried to walk more, we bought an elliptical machine, (amazingly decorative piece), and I have tried to watch what I eat, and cut down on the aforementioned bad habits.

I found out Sunday that I still have some serious work to do.

As a result of last week's storm one of Netter's co-workers had a tree knocked over and offered the resulting firewood to us.

The girls and one of their friends were very helpful with loading the truck and carrying the wood to the backyard to be stacked. Actually stacking the wood however was on me.

Somehow I needed to turn this - - into something a little more organized.

The stacking commenced. Arranging, re-arranging, finding odd pieces, small pieces, big pieces. A push here, a tug there. Holy smokes this is a lot of work I thought as I collapsed in the middle of my backyard.

Now Netter was very helpful during the entire process. She handed me pieces of wood when I asked, and brought me something to drink, but even she couldn't help but look at me a little incredulously as I collapsed from stacking this small load of wood. Or, maybe I just felt she was staring because it all seemed ridiculous to me.

Somehow, I'm not really sure how - I found my way back to my feet and finished the job. I then went inside and collapsed again in the middle of the living room floor as if I had just run a marathon. Holy Schneike!

Silly, I know. Obviously I still have some work to do in the "getting in shape department."

I'm pretty sure I'll be back on the ice next week. (The "list" is shrinking.) It also is probably time to let that elliptical do something more than collect dust.

The weather is still warm enough I can walk the dog more. Plenty of things I can do.

Wish me luck...

Nature in a Bottle - Flashback piece 1

Finishing up the last of the Mac to PC migration (again, it's cheaper) I am finding some old files I had forgotten existed. Some are pieces I'd written in "the way back" that I would have shared then given this forum.

I hope you like them.

As part of a newsletter project for staff at the Hilltop Branch we were asked each month to answer some thought-provoking question.

My favorite follows -

If you could bottle something in nature to sell or enjoy at a later time, what would you choose and why?

Early in the morning at the golf course, usually on the first long par 5 and particularly on courses which are more natural than man-made, i.e. wetlands have been preserved, animals are still in abundance, there is a fine mist that gives me an incredibly peaceful feeling. I’m playing my favorite game. I’m out in nature. I’m enjoying the company of friends and companions. It’s hard to explain it briefly but trust me it’s awe-inspiring. To get a sense for it, go outside some morning early in your barefeet (when it’s warmer), walk in the dew-covered grass, take big gulpfuls of air and try and think of something or do something you really enjoy (like drinking a fresh cup of coffee). Try and take notice of everything outside - the sky, the clouds, the birds, the ants on your driveway. Now look up. Way up. Get it?

3/97