YMMV.

There are 30 celebrities, 10 Brochowskis I don’t know, and 11 businesses or brands. There are 30 who I’ve never met, save for 2 phone calls, 30 I only know in passing, and 22 I’ve never met who are local who I’m making it my goal to try and meet soon. This leaves about 716 that I’ve met and know. I might have worked with them.  I definitely have a memory of them, and I can probably identify their voice. Many I see on a daily, or at least weekly to monthly basis.

Of course I’m talking about my Facebook Friend list.

But why?

Sunday, I heard a friend say that all this great technology was actually ruining “real communication.” I of course balked at this. I love this great technology. I think it has actually enhanced communication. In the interest of keeping the peace I didn’t argue with my friend.

Yesterday I noted that more than a few folks are “giving up Facebook for Lent,” so I shared this observation on my Timeline.

“I suppose it could just be me, but if you give up Facebook or some other social network for Lent aren't you really just saying: ‘I don't value those relationships so I'm okay with just blowing them off for 40 days?’”

i.e. In other words, ergo and forsooth, I think giving up Facebook could ruin (at least some part of) communication.

But that’s just my opinion, which is why I posted that. I wanted to have the discussion that followed.

Responses ranged from 100% agreement to Facebook is too new to establish cultural norms to  “Or is it saying because I value those relationships/form of communication, I am willing to give up something valuable to me for God for Lent?”

I agree with every one of them.

What?

Okay, no not really.

I understand that there are many who see social networks like Facebook, Twitter, and even blogs as nothing more than idle pursuits. Even folks who participate in those mediums sometimes downplay them as being nothing more than time wasters, stuff to do when there is nothing else to do.

But that’s not me.

I see social networks as valuable additions to those tools we already had at our disposal for communication because to me it’s not about the tools.

It’s about the people. Plain.And.Simple.

Now, I’m not passing judgment on folks who have decided to give up Facebook for Lent if they see that as a true sacrifice, if they just need a break, if they are resolved to use other perhaps more personal forms of communication to reach out to people in their lives. If they are trying to strengthen their relationships I’m all for that, and I will allow that my statement in passing doesn’t allow for their reasoning behind their decisions, not that they owe anybody an explanation.

But I wonder if we realize the true power of all these tools as we put them to use every day. I wonder if we understand the implications of our actions? Do we get that we might only know about what’s going on in each other’s lives because of our social network, and how valuable just knowing is to one friend, or another.

While I might know, in person, at least 700 some odd people on my friend list I am very aware that in all likelihood, without these tools I would not have the contact, the interactions with many of them that I have now, and I don’t believe for a second that would be a good thing. Not at all.

Don’t misunderstand -

I get that Facebook is “just Facebook,” and Twitter is “just Twitter,” etc... and so on...

I value personal interaction more than any other form of communication. I’d like to sit with all of you for hours, conversing deep into the night holding a beverage in hand, wiping a tear, or sharing a laugh.

Unfortunately, as we all know, that’s not possible. There just aren’t enough hours in the day, or dollars in the bank account for the travel necessary to bring us together.

While I would never advocate for replacing a personal interaction, a letter, an email, or even a phone call, (okay maybe a phone call - I do hate the phone) I would hope that folks might realize and value the social network communication that sometimes might have to suffice, and be grateful for it rather than seeing it as a commodity that we can simply cast aside.

Your Mileage May Vary.

De-Cluttering - Hey, That's What I'm Calling It...

I haven’t been here much lately. There are reasons for that. I’m not sure they’re good reasons, but they’re really all I’ve got. I don’t believe in excuses, but I think explanations are important. Does that make sense? Anyway - here goes...

Every year I crash after our golf tournament. I love my MJB Foundation work, but the weeks leading up to the tournament are filled with activity, sometimes overly stressful, and definitely stretch my capabilities for keeping up in general. This year I crashed extra hard. I was off my game on tournament day, (not my golf game, my Founder game) and mostly because I was just flat tired. I don’t know if it was because we added Bowl for Joy this year, or because my volunteer force grew to 17 and then shrank to 9, or what it was, but I was gassed.

Thankfully, this did not affect the tournament. We were still able to raise a good amount of funds for children with challenges, and while the day ran long - another story entirely, and probably my fault - it was still by and large a success. I think so anyway.

We took the week after the tournament off, and I mean off. We laid around. We watched movies. In general we just vegged as they say. We did go to the zoo, and we visited some friends, but for the most part - yeah nothin’. I was good with that.

As the summer progressed I was still good with that. Anything that required any sustained sort of energy, like blogging went by the wayside. My Twitter feed slowed down. My Facebook updates dwindled. At times I felt like Four Square was the only social media app I was using on a consistent basis, and honestly that just felt odd.

So I started to take a look at things, really ruminate if you will and I noticed some patterns.

Like History, my life really seemed to just repeat itself over and over and over and over and over and over and... You get the picture.

Even some of the posts on this blog were really just repeats of something I’d said before and hadn’t realized when I posted them again.

So I decided to make some changes, to really work on doing things differently instead of just talking about it all the time. This meant more work off line, but it also meant a clearer mind for me in the long run, and more importantly that change. It’s coming. I can feel it.

Still when you take a step back from something it can be hard to get “back into it.”

I managed only one post all summer. An important story I wanted to share that just sprang out of me because I told it when it was fresh and clear in my mind. Obviously, that’s something I need to do more often.

But outside of that one instance every time I was ready to post again I would get caught up in the advice of the experts, well mostly this expert. But that’s not Chris’ fault. In reality I wasn’t even listening to myself.

So finally I recognized that and I decided to just do it. To just put it out there, but even that seemed forced, and ultimately I just waited - until something felt right.

And they’re you go.

I’ve really decided that life is sorta random and strange and hard to plan for and more often than not so am I. Just ask my wife, and yeah, my kids too.

But I’m going with that and I’m going to embrace it. I’m random and strange, (Maybe I should say different?) but I’m really just me, and that’s really just my blog , and that part about the cluttered mind is a lot more true than I thought.

I’ve learned a lot about myself this summer, and along the way I’ve picked up a story or two to tell. I’ll get to those. I’ve picked up a new second job, which I’m very excited about. I’ll talk about that too. I’ve also picked up a secret new addiction, which I may or may not talk about I haven’t decided yet. Oh, who am I kidding...

Anyway, it’s good to be back, and I’m not just saying that this time.

Dear Anonymous - You suck!

Today, I am angry. No, I am outraged. Ms Single Mama, one of my favorite bloggers is basically being driven off line because of the actions of people who have decided that it is their place to judge her, her life, and how she raises her son. It should come as no surprise that most of these people are Internet idiots who post anonymously, use only their first name, or use some cryptic username whose origin or meaning is known only to them.

One of the things I have always preached to my girls is that when you are online you are responsible for what you say or post, what pictures you allow to be published of yourself, and in general your own behavior.

Of course, the one way around this responsibility is to use some anonymous user name.

This is why I post everything as Jim Brochowski, or JimBrochowski. Of course, if your kids are 13 and 17 you might not want them to use their full names. This is fine as long as they use names that uniquely identify them to their friends, their peers, and their family. When I reference K or D it's not just because I don't want to use their full names. It's also because that's truly what we call them sometimes. When I post somewhere as Jimbro or Jimmer, I do it only in a context where I know I'm going to be held accountable for what I say and do because that audience addresses me by those names.

It's called personal responsibility. We all should have it. It should be required for using the Internet.

Not demanding personal responsibility can lead to hateful remarks, deceitful lies, and the spread of ignorance, not to mention the complete and total lack of punctuation, spelling, or even sometimes grammar. But I digress...

More importantly it leads to hurt. It leads to fear, and it means that, in this case especially we will lose an important voice from our community.

Ms. Single Mama's story is an inspiration not only to single mothers, but to many others who are searching for confidence in themselves and their life choices. It is a way for children of divorce to understand what might have happened to their own parent's marriages and to find a "normal" in a life with only one parent, or maybe even several parents. It's a story for everyone to see that there is always a way, that we should never give up, that we should always keep trying to make our dreams come true.

That's what it is for me. That's what it should be for everyone.

I don't write much should or would or could. I don't get fired up about too much anymore at all. I don't do politics. I don't debate religion, and I don't address issues that pertain to a woman's body. The first two because a lot more negative than positive seems to stem from those discussions, and the latter because I'm not a woman.

But, I will defend to my death a person's right to not be judged, and especially to not be judged publicly.

When all is said and done; Wrong is still Wrong!

Note* I know there are people who use usernames that are very responsible, that use those names because they don't feel safe, and for a myriad number of other reasons. The difference is, those people don't act like fools. They aren't mean for the sake of being mean. They don't incite arguments for the sake of arguing. They don't judge.

I also know there are some people who are out there judging Ms. Single Mama who aren't hiding behind anonymity. To put it in the simplest terms, I'm not going to give them the traffic.

Now, here's your full disclosure: I am the son of a once single mother, and while my mother was fortunate enough to find a loving husband and father, (or maybe he was lucky enough to find her) there was still plenty of awkwardness, plenty of situations, and experiences that we had to deal with that just weren't, and quite honestly sometimes still aren't "normal."

What is that saying? Until you've walked a mile in their shoes...

Hello..?

Last month Netter and I attended a tour of the recently renovated Thompson Library at The Ohio State University.

As we arrived, we recognized many of our library friends on the tour, and a few familiar faces that maybe we couldn't put with names, nodded and said hello and took our seats.

Before the introductory presentation I stopped at the refreshment table for some chips a healthy snack, and I was greeted by a very friendly lady who commented that those chips snacks looked delicious, and then she paused...

"You're Jim. right?"

I replied that I was, well am, well whatever, you know what I said.

"Oh, we're Facebook friends. I know all about your life."

She then introduced herself as being a fellow library staff member who worked at another location, and explained that she didn't post very much on Facebook, but did pay attention to what others posted.

She was really nice, and I was glad to meet yet another Facebook friend in person. My general rule of thumb for friending people is that we have to have some common interest, know a few of the same people, and maybe have some chance of connecting in real life somewhere down the road.

All of the above criteria were met, so it didn't surprise me that I was only meeting this Facebook friend for the very first time. I thanked her for introducing herself, and we went off on the tour.

As the evening progressed, and then more time passed I started to think about this interaction and what it could have meant, for example in conjunction with my Internet Safety project.

This time I met a very nice person with nothing but good intentions.

But, what about the next time? What if that person had said:

"WE'RE FACEBOOK FRIENDS. I.KNOW.ALL.ABOUT.YOUR.LIFE."

Well, that would have been a little bit different wouldn't it?

More Branding?

(*Note: this is not a sponsored post. Yes, I got something free and it is really cool, but the blog post was my idea, after the fact. That said, I did get something free and I am propping that service here so... I don't know what that means, I just wanted to add some legal mumbo-jumbo to, you know, CMA and such.)

Okay - so - here it is: How do you like my new business card?

Kinda sweet, eh? You know Netter has written before about getting free stuff because of Twitter and I was always kinda jealous. Not anymore. I got some free stuff of my own this time.

My friend Cheryl Harrison tweeted that @4SightGraphics was giving away 250 free business cards to their 200th follower. I had a little time so I jumped over to their Twitter page, hit refresh a few times, and Winner, winner, chicken dinner - I had myself some business cards.

A few messages back and forth and I had a mock-up from Brett at MakeMeCards.com. It had a lot of MJB Foundation info on it though, and I already have an MJB Foundation card so I talked to Netter about an idea I had, then I asked Brett if we might come up with something with all my Social Media information, maybe ghost in the MJB Foundation as a background image. A few messages later I was in receipt of the image above, and a short time after that the very nice, high-quality cards were delivered to my door. It was an incredibly easy process. Brett was terrific to work with. Thank you Brett!

To answer a few questions:

No, I'm not really sure what I'll do with these. I've been handing out a few to folks who I want to find me online, (Did you hear that out-of-town family?) and I do wish I'd had these cards for my first two speaking gigs last year: Social Media for Your Business, and Using Social Media For Your Job Search.

Who knows... maybe I'll get some more gigs. I hope so. I've got these cool cards to share you know.

What are you up to Jimmer?

Last week, very late Wednesday night I did something I have never done before. I asked specific people to go comment on my blog. Today, I want to thank everyone and explain my thought process a little bit.

Last Monday, I met with my friend Nate Riggs to talk about his affiliation with TeamBuilder Search. I am considering different career directions and I was intrigued by the possibilities there might be for me to work with Nate as part of his new endeavor. I also really wanted to talk to Nate because I think he's super smart, and has great ideas about taking advantage of our individual strengths.

During our discussion Nate and I started talking about Internet presence and I mentioned that I posted my girls' blogs to my network and community whenever they wrote something new. Nate gave me big props for that (Thanks, Nate!), and then an idea was born. (Thank you Nate for that too!)

I'm beginning work on building a base of information, outlines, something like that to use to present as a curriculum of sorts for kids' responsible use of the social web in particular. As this evolves I hope to find a way to share this information with kids and help them safely find their way through the maze of tools available. I love kids. I love to coach. I love to use social media. Why not coach kids in the best, and more importantly, the safest ways to use social media? Right?

On Monday, I put up a post talking about this new idea, and the feedback both public and private (from parents who didn't want to embarrass their kids or post too much about them in a public forum), was nothing but positive.

As the next step, I thought it would be a good idea to share this project with my family. I asked Netter and the girls to work on guest posts to talk about their thoughts on the subject. The girls are still working on their posts, but Netter finished hers, and I couldn't have been more thrilled. It was a perfect piece to kick off my project. Much better than anything I could have written, and exactly where I wanted to start things. I couldn't help but think: "More people have got to read this. This is really an important topic. I need to start a little buzz."

So, as Chris Brogan might say, I decided to spend a little social media capital and ask some folks to take a look. Thank you to everyone who took the time.

Now just to clear up a few questions folks may have:

• No, if this had been my post about my project I would not have done this.
• No, my blog will not become all about this one topic. There will still be plenty of stories about families, and IGs, and all the other things my brain rambles around all the time.
• No, I did not just ask the heavy hitters / rock stars of the Social Media community to take a look. I didn't even ask them all. I asked folks that I had interacted with in the last week or two using the tools I am discussing, and Netter was addressing.
• No, I will not be soliciting comments for every post on this topic. I put it out there and let folks know what I am talking about here from time to time. If they are interested, I trust that they'll come back. If they're not, that's okay too. I'm not really good at blowing my own horn so I don't anticipate I'll be beating my chest here or anywhere else anytime soon.
• Yes, I like the word "folks."
• Yes, I think you should check out Nate Riggs' work and follow his blog.
• Yes, I think NetterB is an awesome writer who should write more often.
• Yes, I am grateful I have such a great network and community of friends.
  

You're all rock stars! Thanks for stopping by.

Right Tool for the Job - A Guest Post from NetterB

Netter graciously shares her thoughts on Internet Responsibility with us today as a part of my new project. Give her a visit sometime at Practically Netter. In the interim we're lucky to have her here today.

Welcome Honey!

How many dangers do our kids face each day? The world is constantly evolving and is pretty scary when you think about it.

For example, something as simple as a paring knife can be used as a weapon or a tool – it all depends. A knife is sharp and has the potential to harm. It depends on the intent on how it is used. It could be used for bad purposes - to deface something or to harm someone. But it also depends on training. As parents, we train our kids in knife skills so they don’t cut themselves.

The same can be said for the internet and social media. It is a powerful tool, but danger lurks everywhere online. Any online interaction with the wrong intent poses a threat to our kids. Training and parental supervision are of the utmost importance.

My kids are digital natives. They are comfortable in this electronic world. They’ve grown up in the midst of it, using computers is second-nature and their cell phones have almost become another appendage.

I, on the other hand, am not a native. I’ll admit it, electronic gadgets and gizmos can be frustrating, confusing and intimidating. But I’d like to think I have become a digital immigrant. Some people may choose not to actively participate in online communities, but I feel as a parent of teenage daughters, it isn’t a choice for me. I am active in various social media communities and keep a close eye on what my girls are up to.

There are some who would say to just not let your children have access to the internet, or limit it through filters. Sort of like not letting them use a paring knife because they might cut themselves. I think this is unreasonable and more of a disservice to the youngsters. It’s more important to teach them the right and wrong than to try to shield them from it completely.

We can’t protect our kids from the dangers they will encounter in the world, online or virtual. We can only try to give them the tools they’ll need to be successful and prepare them for what they might face to help them make good decisions and choices.

Internet Responsibility - A new project ?

I have a few inspirations for today's post. A conversation I had this morning with my friend Nate Riggs who also posted on the subject earlier this year. An article in Today's Detroit Free Press, and last but not least a note I got from a friend via Facebook last week.

So, Jim, how does one block one's child from Facebook? If I go in and change her password, will that take care of it? Or could she request the password and they will send her the new one on her email? I'll keep looking at the FB site....

Short story, My daughter was going to send a letter to a someone she met through Facebook somehow. Gosh the address of the person was a P.O. Box. What a shocker. And should we alert police that this might be a potential stalker/creeper? Or am I overreacting?

I really want to strangle my daughter.

Okay, obviously my friend is not going to strangle her daughter, but this does raise a very real, and ongoing question about Internet safety, particularly for our children.

So what's the answer? Well, the simple answer is to turn everything off right? If we ignore it, the problem goes away...

Or does it?

Personally, I don't think the Internet is going anywhere anytime soon. In fact, I think the Internet is going to continue to become more and more a part of our daily lives, particularly with the continued growth of the social web.

So, what are some other answers?

I think the answer is to involve our children in the Internet, direct their involvement, or as Nate put it this morning - channel that water that is already running downhill.

Rather than elaborate right now though, I'd like to ask for your input. What do you think the answer is? How would you solve my friend's problem with her daughter?

A bigger question to tackle in the process of course is how do we direct our child's involvement in the social web? Do you think there should be rules? What do you think those rules should be?

As the discussion continues, I hope to post more about this by talking about the various tools that are available, and how our kids can make the best use of them.

But as we kick this off, I'm giving my readers the floor. I'm really interested in your input here. What say you?

How Are You?

Have you ever considered this phrase? Or maybe you say "What's up?” or “How's it going?” “What's going on?” Any one will do. Here's the question I have today. When you ask this question, do you really care?

I once asked a friend how he was. His reply: "Do you care, or are you just asking to be polite?"

It was a fair question at the time, we weren't really close friends, didn't see each other very often, just passing by from time to time. In such an instance this question could reasonably evoke such a response.

How do you answer this question when you're asked? Do you ever catch yourself answering the wrong question? Someone asks you "what's going on," and you respond "fine." Or they say "how are you?" and you respond "nothing."

This has been rattling around in my head for awhile. I've posted before about being a better listener. I think really hearing folks when they respond or ask this question is a great first step.

What do you think?

Thank You Very Much

I've taken some time away from the blog lately, putting some ducks in a row, working on some plans for changes I hope to be making. It's just time for some things. I'm sure many would understand.

I hope to be in this space a little more regularly from this point, in part because I am looking forward to talking about some of those changes as they happen. This is where we break things down after all.

But, well, today is my birthday. Netter and I are headed out for the evening to take some time to pause and just be as it were.

One thing that has been incredibly overwhelming today is the number of well wishes I have received - text messages, phone calls, Twitter, Facebook. My Blackberry battery is almost drained and as I think about it - well, I am one lucky man to have so many wonderful friends and family.

I am working on finding a way to personally thank each and everyone of you, but in the interim - so Netter doesn't have to wait to go out with her husband...

I am going to borrow this from Kailey and the All Ohio State Fair Youth Choir.

Thank you very much!

I Am Listening

It seems I talk a lot about making changes, changes in fitness habits, changes in church-going habits, in diet and exercise, in career, etc... and so on.

Sometimes I'm good at making those changes. Sometimes I get derailed in my efforts. Always, I'm trying. It may not seem like it, but I am. It's that good Catholic guilt. What can I say?

This week, I'm working on a change that should be easy, but has honestly proven to be more difficult than I had anticipated. I'm trying to spend as much time as possible just listening.

Yep. Just listening.

About 7:00 Sunday night I popped out my Blackberry and put up my first update of the day. For me.., well it's no secret that's a touch out of the ordinary. I'm usually plugged in and interacting all day every day and sometimes well into the night. The keyword there being interacting. I'm trying to be involved in the conversation and building relationships both old and new.

Only lately, especially on the weekends, I don't feel like I'm interactive at all. In fact I'm kind of a broadcaster - and my friends, I am not fond of the broadcasters.

Now it's true, I'm usually posting updates from football parties where I'm connecting on a face to face level, and I post about the Buckeye games and other similar topics, and sometimes big conversations get started from some innocuous comment about the kicking game, or a freshman running back. There are times when I'm involved in those conversations. More often I'm revisiting them on Sunday or even Monday morning - catching up as it were. Ultimately, I appreciate that folks are involved, and commenting, but I want to give something back.

So, this week the goal is listening. Everybody talks about two ears, one mouth and such right... I wonder how many keep that in mind on a day to day basis.

I'd like to think I'm not a bad listener, but I want to be a really great listener. I know some great listeners. I want to be like them.

I want to hear the things folks want me to hear.

What do you want me to hear?

And just for kicks - riffing off a series of Q&A posts my friend Cammie is currently working on, I am wondering if there are things you'd like to know or topics you'd like to discuss?

Ask away...

I'm listening.

I.Am.Tired!

I.Am.Tired!

FYI - Today's post is a little Monday rant. I'll understand if you don't want to hang around today. If you do, maybe you can relate or commiserate?

I'm writing this as a way of building toward a to-do list of sorts so maybe you can relate to that too?

I haven't blogged in a while. I feel like I've blown a great opportunity to grab some new readers and connect with new folks. Maybe not. I hope not. As usual I may be thinking too much. (A big thank you to Nate Riggs for that by the way. I feel very fortunate to have had that opportunity.)

More upside? After today's rant post - I promise a blog post on every topic I bring up today as part of my rant. Well, at least the ones I think might make a good story.

You see, once again here it is Monday morning and I find myself behind. Behind on replying to messages, behind on replying to emails, behind on - well still behind on things from before Golf for Joy, and many, many more...

Sometimes it seems like I spend my entire life catching up, and the cycle continues on and on.

If I do get time to focus on something, it seems something ALWAYS takes my attention elsewhere. Granted, that's not always a bad thing, like when I became obsessed with the television show Bones and wanted to see all the re-runs I could before the season premiere. More often, however it's because I have to tend to something silly.

Like the Blackberry fiasco. (That might even be two blog posts.)

It will especially turn into two posts if I talk about being tired of poor customer service, but that might be a post all by itself.

Or a broken T.V.

Or any number of things that just seem to pop up out of nowhere, and turn into hours and hours of time suckers.

Like Vista and connectivity issues - no Mom it's not just your computer...

Like tires for my truck.

Paying bills and juggling cash. I'm tired of playing by the rules they, (i.e. banks and mortgage companies and such) put in place and then having them change the rules, seemingly on a whim. (I know it's the economy, but this is a rant remember...)

So, I have to find a turning point, a positive if you will.

One positive is that part of the reason I am behind is the presentation I was fortunate enough to be able to give at Job Help Day at the Library last week.

Another is that I got to spend the day Saturday playing golf with my friends and enjoying college football for the balance of the evening.

Okay, we do watch college football every week, but the golf was a nice bonus. Though I actually played very poorly, and we started the round in the rain, I was still happy to get out.

There's just something about being on the course with your friends, watching one of them shoot his best round ever, obviously happy as heck about it - and you can see the joy in his face.

Good job Dave!

I've got to get back to the to do list now...

What are you all working on?

Or - if you want - tell me what you're tired of...

OneWebDay

I've got several projects with quickly approaching deadlines going on right now so the blog is a bit thin on material recently. I'm sorry about that. (I know, you're not supposed to apologize like that. I just did. Sue me.)

I do want to take a minute to highlight something, especially for my Columbus audience that I think is very important, and really one of the best ideas I've ever seen.

If you haven't already, head over to Shiny Door and check out the details OneWebDay.

I've talked before about the importance of technology, not just that it's become such a integral part of our society, but that so many lack access, lack knowledge, and don't have anyone to teach them how as it were.

Every day at the library I talk to at least one person who has to accomplish some task, whether searching for housing, signing up for an email account, applying for a job, creating a resume, or even applying for unemployment or other government assistance. All of these things are made that much more difficult when "you just don't know how."

Now, a lot of times when you just don't know how, you can just not do it. (Like my math homework in high school, but that's another story.) But you just can't "not do," things like those listed above because things like housing and jobs are pretty darned important aren't they?

To even take this to the next level - What if these folks could create a network for themselves using Facebook, LinkedIn or Twitter - how much better would quality of life be for them. How much more included and most especially valued would they feel if they just knew how?

Take a big breath there and think about that for a second. What would your life be like without technology? Or how about without the Internet?

Yeah, I feel that way too. Very, very fortunate indeed.

Many folks are not so fortunate, Too many are just plain getting left behind, and frankly Scarlett that just stinks.

Well, I give a damn. I know you do too, and as fate would have it, we are not alone.

From the Wiki:

This
year, OneWebDay focuses on the importance of access to fast, affordable, open Internet for all people, otherwise known as digital inclusion. OneWebDay Columbus has planned an array of activities around the idea of digital inclusion, including classes and seminars, technology refurbishment and more. At OneWebDay Columbus participants will have a variety of opportunities to both volunteer (example - refurbish computers) and learn (example - Legalities of Open Source Software workshop). If you cannot spend time at our event but still want to be a part of this worldwide day of web celebration, please consider donating computer components no longer in use. We will be using them to teach the refurbishing and recycling. Our experts can take old slow computers and turn them into useful tools again.
For more information on Columbus OneWebDay join us at http://my.onewebday.org/group/cbusowd and help make it One Web. For All.

In the end, it's all about access. We have it. Too many others don't.

OneWebDay brings us together so that everybody is included, so that everyone has access, so that everyone has an opportunity to learn how.

I am trying to clear my schedule to participate. I will definitely be donating some computer components.

Maybe you can help out too?

We're all in this together after all.

Too Transparent? Not enough? Overthinking? Hmmm...

I get a lot of comments from folks that my blog, (and pretty much all the information I put out for public consumption) is very open, deep, revealing, and sometimes - too revealing, too open, too deep - Man Jim why do you put all that out in the open like that?

My reply is pretty simple:

Why not?

As I've talked about before, my aim in using social media, in being part of the community is to make sure people know the real me, to know the things I value. I've talked about how I had let myself, and the way folks perceived me to become someone, something I was not, or at the very least somebody I didn't like to be. I want to be sure I don't go there again, and I want to be held accountable.

Now, I don't put "everything" out there, and there have been times when I wonder if I've been putting too much... I don't want to risk holding back to a point where it feels like I'm being dishonest. I would hope you would let me know if things weren't comfortable.

We all share the same concerns. We all have similar experiences. I think it's okay to talk about them, to be open, to share, to help each other.

Not everybody does and I get that. That's okay.

Recently, I was quizzed by one of my co-workers about some of my social media use. My co-worker, let's call them, CW uses Facebook, and is starting to blog a bit, but isn't sure just yet about "putting oneself" out there as it were. (Yes, I kept all references to CW very non-gender specific and I understand that the grammar police might come after me. I'm okay with that.)

Today, I thought I might share our exchange and get your take. What do you think?

CW's first question: If you have a certain "online persona" how does that overlap/interact with your real life persona?

My reply: I try really hard not to have an online persona, but instead to just be me as much as possible. I censor myself a little bit, but that's also a part of my process of trying to lose the "curmudgeon in the corner" image. My life had become about everything negative and I
was miserable, and miserable to be around I would imagine. In the spring of 2008 I ran into an online chat room watching hockey games. It was easy to just be myself, open up, and try as much as possible to keep it positive. As the summer progressed and we, (CML) moved into "Learn and Play," it was easy for me to transition that positive using the new (to me) tools, and let people know that the curmudgeon wasn't really me, but just someone I had allowed myself to become over time, and that I wasn't happy with it. I wrote a blog post about it if you want to check it out.

CW's second question: How do you relate the "curmudgeon in the corner" with the "600 followers, (on Twitter)" guy?

My reply: "The 600 followers guy was unintentional, but who doesn't like to be popular right? :-) Just kidding. (Point of fact, I'm not concerned about numbers. That really was a joke.) Twitter is the tool I use to keep in touch with people I don't see everyday, and to meet new people who share similar interests. Think of it this way, Even with your best friend you probably didn't dive in as soon as you met them and start having heart to heart conversations. You took some time to get to know each other, sharing small parts of your life,
until a trust was built, molded, hardened and such and you felt you could open up. Twitter is pretty much the same thing, but it takes it a step further, or could because with these new tools people are collaborating, doing business, and still in some cases just making new friends. But - it is a small incremental process just like real life.

Most people who dive onto Twitter and bombard folks with way too much detail, and try to pitch their business deals or advertise their blogs right away are shunned almost immediately. (Just like we run away from the salespeople who attack as soon as we walk into the store.)
Those who get into Twitter for the reasons I mentioned above are far more likely to be valued so that when they do post a new blog or have something to share, or even have a business proposition people will listen. (Just like the sales person we know was watching and paying attention to what we are looking at, approaching us with answers when we have questions, but waiting for us to ask.)"

CW's final, and probably most important question: Who is more important, your twitter audience, or the people you interact with face to face every day? :)

This one was easy if I used my wife and my kids as my only example, but the answer didn't come out quite like I had intended. Tell me what you think?

"As far as my audience - I don't generally separate the two, but if I need to I always choose face to face first. The Social Media tools are just that, tools. While I hope to build valued relationships that will be face to face eventually - Ultimately the existing, (face to face) relationships are what is most important to me, and the people in front of me bring a more valued relationship. Just like customers in the building come before customers on the phone."

I was trying to emphasize the value of face to face, but I feel like I left a part of this unanswered, or something is missing in my reply. In many cases, my online relationships are also face to face relationships. Perhaps that means I'm using the tools effectively, the right way?

But not all of these relationships are face to face, at least not yet. Does that mean I'm not placing enough value, investing enough time? I know that not "all" of them will reach the next level, but what about 1/2? 1/3?

Perhaps I'm guilty (again) of over thinking. (You saw the smoke right?)

Above all else I want to be sure that I am doing things right, that my positive remains positive, and that my emphasis remains on building honest, open, relationships whether that be in the cyber community or the face to face world.

What's your take on this? What do you think?

Where I Learn Things - Tres

Update - 8/26 - On Monday of this week I won a copy of Trust Agents from Eye View. My (already ordered) copy of Trust Agents arrived yesterday, (Tuesday). Hmmm...2 copies, What to do...?

Well why not spread the love - Because I think this book has that much value - I'm doing my very first giveaway. Leave a comment and tell me what value you find in Chris' work, (you can find my take below) and why you think you should win - i.e. how do you spread the love as it were?

The best comment wins a copy of Trust Agents and yes - shipping is included. It's that simple.

Contest ends at midnight 9/6.

Oh, and feel free to take a look around while you're here, but only if you want to.

Continuing my list of Where I Learn Things I'm going to focus today on one well known blogger. He doesn't need me to prop his work. He is already very popular, especially in the realm of social media. What's really cool about this fella, and the reason I want to share how I learn from him is though many would call him one, he doesn't act like a superstar. He's just a nice down to earth guy. Let me tell you a little bit about him.

If you follow this blog at all you know that I am a big, big, Okay HUGE fan of Chris Brogan. But you may not know how big - no really - wait.

There's a good reason for that admiration.

Chris is genuine. He's transparent. He's friendly, and he is really good at what he does i.e. maximizing methods of communication, and showing others how to do the same.

In early June of this year, while attending The Ohio Growth Summit I
had the opportunity to meet Chris and spend some time talking with him.
I then had the privilege of hearing him speak. Folks - this guy has the
goods. It may seem over the top to say it this way, but Chris is a
master of human interaction.

It's hard to write this without sounding like a gushing school girl, but I really think Chris is an awesome communicator who can, and does teach us all the way it "should be done."

To make it even better, Chris does this without asking for anything in return. Well, okay he did ask me for one thing. Chris posted a request earlier this week asking his readers to consider buying his book, Trust Agents co-authored with Julien Smith. It was the most unassuming, nicest sales pitch I think I've ever seen. Take a look. Don't have time for the whole post? Just read the introduction...

"This will probably be the most self-promoting post I’ve ever written. Skip it, if you want. I’d understand."

How could you not be impressed by a guy who gives and gives and gives, and then says "You know I need a favor, but you don't have to even listen if you don't want to?"

Thankfully, I had been meaning to buy the book for sometime. I even contacted our Collection Development division to make sure it was on their radar. I hope they buy several copies.

I just know that the book will be money well spent.

I cannot wait for my copy to get here.

Maybe you'd like to buy a copy of Trust Agents too.

Where I Learn Things - Dos

Last week I started what I hope will be a regular Wednesday thing for awhile, sharing the "whys and whatnots" of the list of blogs I follow (see the sidebar of my blog).

I call this list "Where I Learn Things," because each has some influence on my life and most teach me something when I read them. None of them are "how to" blogs, but they are all thought provoking and "teach me" things along the way.

For example, I learn a great deal about social media by reading Cheryl Harrison's blog BeingCheryl Cheryl is one of the nicest people I have ever met. She's genuine and she's smart as heck. If you want to know about social media or marketing Cheryl's blog is the place to find it. Cheryl's post on LinkedIn was one of the best explanations for setting up a profile I have ever read.

(*Note - Cheryl was nice enough today to recommend me to her follower's on Twitter. So I am extra happy that I set up the end of my last "Where I Learn Things" post to lead off with Cheryl today.)

My friend Erica provides all kinds of thought provoking content on her blog Ridiculology. Check out this fun contemplation on social media and this post on the mysterious Gueek Bkead Fay. Erica provides content on a myriad number of things and you never know what you're gonna get when you visit Ridiculology. But, you do know you're going to be entertained and something is going to make you say Hmmm...? (Kinda like the Arsenio Hall show right?)

Netter found Dr. Lori's blog Loripalooza last winter using Twitter search I think. For laugh out loud funny stories and reminiscence there are few better places to read. Dr. Lori doesn't post very often, but when she does it is always entertaining. Check out this post about Gumdrops to get a feel for Dr. Lori's great story telling abilities. I also follow Dr. Lori on Twitter because she brings the same style and humor to that platform as well.

Dr. Lori's isn't the only blog I follow for great stories about family. My friends Christa and Kelly have some great stories about their kids that make me reflect on parenting and think about my relationships with my girls. It's good for a parent to consider different perspectives from time to time. Of course I find that with Netter's blog too. She often surprises me with her stories about the girls. For example, I had no idea this post about a conversation I had with D would have such an impact, but I refer back to it every time I need some inspiration to keep the glass half full, and remind myself that I'm an okay Daddy too.

I want to close today by telling about a blog that is both entertaining and inspiring. My friend Cat has had a tough year health wise, but from the stories and poems she shares on her blog you would never know it. Cat is upbeat and full of life. She's as genuine as they come, and I really admire her for that.

Cat is currently on medical leave. Do me a favor. Stop by Caterwaulling, look around for a minute, and say hello. Not only will you find interesting and compelling content, you'll find one of the greatest personalities on the planet. What more could you want?

So that's our list for this week. A list of brilliant women I learn from all the time.

Where do you learn things?

Where I Learn Things

I subscribe to a weekly email newsletter from Chris Brogan that provides a more personal perspective on social media. Monday, Chris had a great idea about sharing. In the sidebar of my blog there's a whole list of blogs I read and follow that I call "Where I Learn Things." You may have noticed this list. You might have even followed a link or two. Today, I'd like to share more about few of the blogs on my list, and how they influence me - you know "the whys and whatnots."

Each week I'll try and share more of my list. Perhaps you could share your list with me too, and then we can share our lists with everybody, and then they'll tell two friends, and so on, and so on. (70's flashback commercial moment there - sorry.)

Oh, and before I forget Go subscribe to Chris' newsletter. If you're interested in effective use of social media Chris should be one of your primary resources. He's also a heckuva nice guy who cares about his audience. He even makes this old geek feel important, and relevant in a land I've only been a part of for about a year.

More about my list - For flat out grins and laughter, with a touch of what life is like for all of us sometimes, I read Cammie's blog at The House of No Sleep. A warning to the fellas, Cammie talks about some girly stuff from time to time, but after reading this post - I couldn't not tune in everyday to follow the goings on in The House of No Sleep.

I started following the thoughtLEADERS blog after I saw Mike Figliuolo speak at the 2009 Ohio Growth Summit. I was really impressed with his talk about leadership and I could tell he would be someone I could learn from. Netter had kind of an "I told you so" moment here as she had been following Mike for quite some time on Twitter, and knew before I did how impressed I would be. Yep. You got me Honey.

Another blog I've been following pretty closely lately belongs to Ms. Single Mama. Though I am not single, and I am not a Mama I have been really touched by this blog. It is just a well written, positive commentary about life and the things we can accomplish if we believe in ourselves and don't give up. I haven't yet met the author of this incredible story, but I sure would like to someday.

I have been fortunate enough to meet and have coffee with the authors of two other blogs I've added to my list since the Ohio Growth Summit. I'm working on another post about those meetings, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't go read their blogs in the interim.

Nate Riggs is a master at communicating and connecting, especially for business marketing. Everytime I read one of Nate's posts I come away thinking - Wow! That's a great idea. How can I do something like that myself, or how can I improve what I'm doing from what Nate just taught me?

Angela Siefer founder of The Shiny Door is a social media genius who is jazzed about making the power of the online world accessible to everybody. Need an inspiring story - Check out Angela's.

See, I told you.

I want to close today by telling you about somebody who keeps falling in and out of my list because he only blogs intermittently. I wish he would blog more, and more consistently. (Maybe he'll get the hint if I call him out here? ;-) Gregor is not only a fellow geek, he is also a mentor and friend, who is very focused on finding ways to get things done more efficiently, and more importantly seeing that they are done with positive outcomes.

Greg and I were talking a few weeks ago and discussing the importance of relationships in social media, about building positive outcomes, and keeping things balanced. We talked about how much we love the conversations we find ourselves in on Facebook, or Twitter, or even here in blog land, sharing thoughts, and ideas, and...

Hmmm... Sharing - just like Mom taught us. It really is a good idea.

What do you want to share today? Tell me about the list of folks you follow.

Personal Branding

Personal Branding - Huh?

I've been trying to work on my personal brand for awhile now. You know? What do I bring to the table? What makes me stand out? Why do people read this blog about me? Why are they my friend on facebook? Why do they follow me on Twitter? Why did they accept my LinkedIn invitation?

Here's my problem with this - maybe you can help.

I don't think this is about ME.

I think this is about us - ALL OF US!

In this wonderful wacky world of ours - don't we all need each other - maybe now more than ever?

Okay - that's a little over the top.

Here's what I'm saying - We all know why the people who are in our lives, are in our lives, why they are important, what value they bring to our relationships. BUT (insert screeching brakes sound here...)

Do we know why we are in their lives? What value do we bring to our relationships?

How many times have you heard, seen or read, heck even said something like this?

"I started blogging, or twittering, or using facebook or (insert your social media platform here), but I have no idea why anyone would really care what I'm doing or what I think about anything. It can't be that interesting, etc..."

Right?

Yeah, me too.

Do you get answers like this? "Well obviously you are interesting. Somebody is paying attention. Just keep doing what you're doing..."

Yeah, me too.

Drives me crazy. (More like a short putt. Probably a gimme.) Can "Obviously you are interesting," be a personal brand?

No, I don't think so either.

So, Dear Reader I set out to find out what others thought was my "personal brand."

A friend suggested that the best way to get what people think you
bring to the table is to ask someone who was your boss or a friend you
know will be honest and not just tell you what you want to hear.

So I did that.

I had the perfect person. A former boss who is my friend, and has never been afraid to tell it like it is.

Here is what he said.

I'm not sure I understand exactly what it is that you are looking for. So I don't know if any of this helps, but:

I know I have always thought of you as a "quick study" with the
energy to stick with any task any task until it is completed. I could
say things like: "affable, gregarious, friendly and warm" with insight
and a good sense of humor (sunglasses on wedding attendants). I know you don't cut yourself as much slack as you cut others.

Let me know if this helps, if it misses the mark or if I can provide further input.

That did help, but I'm hoping you all can provide further input.

Can you help a brother out?

It never hurts to ask right?

Have you thought about your own "personal brand?"

Sorting things Out and Catching Up

Just a quick note on what's been happening. I can't wear my glasses when the camera is on because of the glare so there may be a technical glitch or two, like I can't really see if the stuff on my desk is all blurry or not. Sorry about that. Thank you all for every bit of your time in the last year. It has meant so so much to be able to reach out and connect with so many great folks.

Things are Changing 'Round These Parts

Attended the Ohio Growth Summit Yesterday, and in the process of meeting some fascinating folks, and being awed by their knowledge and passion I decided that it was time for a little overhaul, a fresh start.

I'll be talking about it more in the coming weeks, but wanted to begin by giving the blog what I hope is a cleaner look, and making it more functional for my readers in the process.

Let me know what you think?

Thanks!