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Resolved for Dummies
Patiently, I maneuvered the canoe so it angled just so. Quietly I put down my paddle and picked up my rod. A quick side arm flick of the wrist putting my line exactly where I knew he was...
Pow, the fish grabbed my artificial worm and started to swim.
Furiously I started to reel him in, then remembered that I needed to be more patient and not let him jump, or otherwise find a way to pull away from my line... and there he was.
As I put down my fishing pole and pulled the fish from the water I could see that he wasn’t all that special. Average size, not all that big, not even as big as two I had caught the day before actually, but there was a difference.
I didn’t wait for Netter to help paddle me into position, or wait for her to say: “Good cast Honey,” to know I had gotten it right. I had put all the lessons of our 19 previous trips to Akita, everything Ranger Annette, (as we only half jokingly call her) and her Dad had taught me, grabbed opportunity by the hand and I just caught it. I mean I just did it.
You know... like the Nike commercial.
Incredible satisfaction, the only one of my fish we took a picture of the whole weekend in fact.
Today, I am focusing on that as we mark the 18th anniversary of the passing of our daughter Meghan Joy.
I’m reflecting a lot on past and current successes and wondering why sometimes it takes me so long to learn.
Just do it Jim!
In February of last year I let loose my rant of a lifetime...
Because I wasn’t getting anything done.
For the remainder of 2011 I tried to “get stuff done.”
I had my three words and I tried to stick to those, but as 2012 approached I realized that I wasn’t going to accomplish everything I had set out to in 2011, and I needed to find more time, to get stuff done.
I’ve held off talking about it here because I didn’t want to have yet another - New Year’s or Lenten resolution, reflection, good gawd you’re making me gag with all this mushy, gushy life is too short, fulfill your dreams blah, blah, blah, blah, BLAH... and so on...
But as I sit here today and think about Meghan Joy, the Foundation we have established in her memory, and the children we have helped because of her with our golf tournament and bowling outing, I can’t help but think about how important it is to actually DO things.
After I did that little time study last year I started doing things. Instead of finding systems, and books, and ways to get organized and accomplish more, and blah, blah, blah... I just started doing things.
This pile - where does it go? Move it!
That pile - what do I need to do with that? Do it!
That phone call. That letter. Make it. Send it.
Just do it.
It still becomes quite a process sometimes, and I admit that I still overthink things, and I am very guilty of finding tasks that “need to be done,” to replace tasks that “really need to be done.” (I call this cleaning the junk drawer, a theory derived from this article by one of my favorite writers.)
Still, I’ve been steadily pecking away at things, finding the most success with getting healthy - which I thought would actually be the most difficult of the 3 words I wanted to tackle. (Or maybe getting healthy is cleaning out my junk drawer.)
I've been working on it since March 12 because I was supposed to start working with a trainer that day, but hurt my knee. I had to rehab it anyway so I stuck to the diet part of the deal and started with work in the hot tub, then walking, skating, onto the elliptical, and a new obsession with biking. I just told the trainer I would probably not be back because I really enjoy the cardio work I’ve been doing, although I really do get a lot from being on his email list with the fitness information he shares. I must confess I don’t agree with all of it, but I am learning and also remembering a lot from when I worked out as a young person.
I've done something every day since with a couple of exceptions. I took the first weekend of March Madness off to spend time with buddies doing what buddies do when they are watching basketball. Would not have been a pretty calorie count, although I did cut out the fried food, pizza, and such after day 1. I also sometimes cheat on Saturdays and depending what I'm doing that can get a little out of hand. I'm coming into this with an open mind trying to learn and make changes that will be long term. As of today I’m proud to report I’ve lost 15 pounds and I’m halfway to my goal.
In the meantime, aside from the health kick I’m just doing the work. It takes me away from the blog and some other mediums more than I’d like, but in the long haul I think it will make for more quality in all areas of my life.
I am resolved to make it so.
Perspective
Push Yourself
Looking at my schedule for this week I discovered that I have no deadlines. As we've discussed previously, I need deadlines to get work done. But, I do still have that to-do list and I don't want to just waste a whole week, (plenty of stuff due next week). So - as the popular commercial slogan goes. It's time to just do it. I need to push myself. I need to be the turtle. This will work. Right?
Eh, if nothing else it is really pretty scenery.
If you can't see the video click here.
The truth is for the most part this has been working for me this week. Just have to keep it going. Keep on keeping on as they say...
Mulligan Update - Want to See Something Cool?
1. He's not even 5 years old.
2. I want to take him back to Camp Akita so he can run in the field to his hearts content.
We've taken Mulligan to Akita ever since he was a puppy. We let him run, and swim and walk him through the woods and over the river and through the woods, but I never really had a full appreciation for how much that meant to me, and to Mulligan I think until I thought we wouldn't get to do it again. While we do get to walk him and play with him at home, the reality is we live in the suburbs and well, that's just not the same.
Thankfully, Mulligan turned 5 on March 8.
And...
Today, I want to share a short video of our boy enjoying his time at Camp Akita this year. It's only 38 seconds long, and I wanted to edit it even more for reasons of vanity. (I look fatter than usual, and my voice breaks and makes me sound kinda silly I think.) But, I've never been very good at editing myself, and Netter told me I should leave the video alone, that the emotion is genuine.
Once again, we have the Note to Self about the microphone. In this shot I'm afraid it's not so easy to hear everything I'm saying so I'm including the short transcript, if you will below.
If you can't see the video click here.
Here's the transcript.
"Hi it's Jimmer, and this is Mulligan. Want to see something cool? Obviously, he feels better. This is what happens when you have perseverance. This is what happens when you have hope. This is what happens when you have the support of your friends. We really appreciate everybody for supporting Mulligan. Thanks!"
Recharging
Last summer I bought Netter a Flip Video camera, so while we were at Camp Akita this year, I thought I'd take a minute to share our trip visually.
*In the Note to self category, we might want to add a microphone to shoot video outdoors. It's a little windy. Still, I think you can hear most of the video fairly clearly. In any case:
Hello from Camp Akita.
If you can't see the video click here.
Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
For years we only had one car. It was okay. We worked at the same place and did most everything together. Occasionally we would borrow a friend's vehicle if we really needed to go somewhere without the other. When Netter went to work at another library location I had friends drive me home from work when necessary.
After we had the twins we decided we needed a second car, a bigger car, a family car, but I did not want a minivan. No Way. No How. No minivan.
It was the first of a number of changes we would make in our life after the loss of Meghan Joy. We weren't waiting for anything anymore (another post for another day). Much to my surprise, my wife told me she wanted an SUV, and not just any SUV, but a sporty SUV to boot.
I thought that was sexy! (and certainly not a minivan) So the shopping started...
After a few weeks of looking at new and used SUVs of every type and model we determined that we wanted to buy the new Honda Passport. That was almost 15 years ago.
This week we're saying goodbye to our old friend, that treasured vehicle. Netter long ago dubbed this incredibly reliable car Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. In 1995, I told the dealer I wasn't interested in a lease because we were going to drive that car until the wheels came off, and it fell down around us. We almost made it that far.Final mileage was 234,790.
In February, after determining that the cost of repair for belts and hoses was a good chunk of change towards a newer replacement vehicle we had been considering purchasing, we parked the Passport in front of the house until further review. K was almost 16, she would be driving soon, a repaired Passport might be a good option for her.
We purchased the newer vehicle - a minivan, go figure...
K just finally got her temps a few weeks ago and we have decided to go another route with the Passport. The tags are going to expire on Saturday. It seems silly to continue to pay for registration and insurance for a vehicle that likely won't be used until at least March 2010. It's time to say goodbye.
We posted the car on Craig'sList on Monday. I'm pretty sure it will be sold within the next few days.
When I think about all of the things we have done and the places that car has taken us, I can't help but smile. She was my first, (and only) new vehicle - ever.
The summer of 1995 saw us take the first of two trips to North Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. A trip with great friends, time on the beach, four grand golf courses. It was so, so much fun.
In 1996 we used the Passport to move into our new home, (more of that not waiting stuff) and 5 days later welcomed our baby D into the world. Of course the Passport brought her home from the hospital. Mommy got to bring her baby home with her this time. Monitors be damned.
We used the Passport to haul all the material to finish our basement in 2000 when Netter started doing home daycare. That same year a friend drove the Passport to Pittsburgh to buy the first bed he would share with his wife. We were in their wedding the very next summer.
Of course with my family in Michigan, and my roots in the D(etroit) we also made several trips to Michigan. We made the last of two journeys to Tiger Stadium for the 3rd to last game to be played at that historic venue, in September 1999. We saw the Lions play in 2002, the first year that Ford Field was open. Yes, they lost.
Earlier in 2002 we made our last journey to North Myrtle Beach. Different friends, more great times, lots of seafood (crab for me every day in fact), more beautiful golf courses. Throw in some Bloody Mary's and too many good stories to share in one space and the trip was just as awesome as our first.
Our first trip to Greenville, South Carolina to visit my fave cousin Butch, and all the Brochowski family for Thanksgiving in 2003, (I think) might have been the last of the long trips we would take in our Chitty Chitty Bang Bang car. I remember my Dad telling me the steel belts were showing on my tires and that it was time to replace them, and my cousin Christy's husband Yousef marveling at the 148,000 miles on the odometer at the time.
Of course, not all of our trips were joyous, but the memories will live on. Our trusted friend took us to say goodbye to my Babcia, and to my Uncle Jerry - probably the man I admire most in the whole world. I have the greatest golf story ever from the trip for Uncle Jerry's funeral. I'll spare you the details and just share that teaching Yousef how to say Titleist - was one of the funniest things ever.
Happy or sad, good times or bad, great stories, good friends, great times - the Passport just kept going.
Goodbye old friend.
Akita
Working a lot this week on "where I'm going," but before I forget, I'd like to take a few minutes to talk about where I've been.I mentioned in my Odd Day post that we were headed for Camp Akita for our annual family camping trip in the Hocking Hills.
Today, I'd like to tell you about Camp Akita and what it means to me.
1992- City boy Jimmer, and his lovely wife Netter head off to a place she describes as one of her favorite in all the land. "It's not your normal camping," she tells him. "You'll have fun. I promise."
Cautiously I had agreed to the trip, but as you can see I was not doing such a great job of putting up a good front.
"You want me to do what?!?"
Netter, on the other hand, was obviously very happy to be sharing this place with her husband.
When we arrived, I could see that Netter was right. This wasn't traditional camping at all. Our cabin slept 10, had 2 full bathrooms, and a complete kitchen.
"Okay," I thought, "I can live with this."
The first night we walked down to the lake to do some fishing.
FISHING?!? I hadn't fished since I was a little boy, I'd only been twice in my life, and frankly worms gave me the heebie jeebies.
Still, I had promised I would try everything. Patiently, Annette and her Dad began to try to teach me how to cast. It didn't go so well. I've told this story before in a post last year.
Essentially, Dad and I just needed to come to an understanding about the expectations of a first time fisherman.
Once we had gotten that out of the way, Annette informed me that we were going to take a canoe out fishing. As I said, I was in for the whole nine yards so off we went.
Wouldn't you know I caught my first fish on my fourth cast. I still point out the spot to Annette every year and talk about that fish like it was the thrill of a lifetime because, well, because it was.
I've caught a lot of fish since then, but I don't think I've ever felt so elated, so happy as I was when I caught that first one.
Every year Akita still makes me that happy.
You know that place where you can go and know you'll be happy no matter what, that place that you can find peace and feel like you're in control, or that sometimes it's maybe okay to not be in control?
You know how sometimes you don't care about a schedule, or a clock, especially a clock, and you're tired of the television, and the technology and you just want to find some peace for your mind and your body and your soul?
Go to Akita.
That's what I do.
What time is it? How 'bout breakfast time, lunch time, dinner time, to read a book,
To draw a picture,
Time to go fishing,
Time to go on a hike,
Time to take your dog for a walk or a swim.

Time to go for a ride in a canoe.
We have made this trip almost every year since 1992.
We go on Mother's Day weekend, and celebrate Grandpa's birthday, (and later my nephew Joe Joe's).
We play games. We watch movies with Grandma. (There is a DVD player, but no television reception.) We do jigsaw puzzles. We make fun of the snorers. (Yes, that includes me.) We laugh when Grandma goes to bed early and says we're not to have fun without her.
And we smile when we find the notebook full of stories about people who come to Akita to do the very same thing at other times of the year.
I often talk about the peace I find on the ice when I'm skating, but that's fleeting, only an hour or so long.
The peace of Akita lasts far longer than that.
It's a special place, a special time - and I'm glad that Netter made me go those many years ago.
3 Odd things for Odd Day
1. I have not had a cup of coffee since before noon today. If you know me, you know that is odd. Of course the last cup I had was a black eye so maybe that had something to do with it.
2. I will be unplugged for the next two days. No computer. No cell phone. Nada. Zip! Zilch! Zero. We are going on our annual family camping trip to Camp Akita in the Hocking Hills. From, well now until Sunday morning I am out. I don't remember the last time that happened. Quite honestly it may have been for this same trip last year. Yikes!
3. I will be missing the Red Wing's game tonight against the !@#$%^&*() ducks of Anaheim. During the playoffs, especially the second round - I don't miss these games - except for this trip.
Of course, my friend Jess has promised to text me a score so if I can find just one point where I can get cell phone reception, maybe I'll at least get the score by morning - maybe....
Or maybe not. Sometimes it's a good thing to take a break. It makes me appreciate the technology, and more importantly the online community - that much more.
I really do appreciate each and every one of you.
Have a great weekend everybody!
Define Free
Last month a friend took me to see a hockey game between the Columbus Blue Jackets and the Calgary Flames. As we entered the arena a woman with a clipboard was waiting to see if we wanted to sign up to win a "prize," including maybe a vacation / cruise.
Well, Netter and I haven't been on a "real vacation," let alone a cruise in quite some time so I thought - sure I'll sign up.
My friend and I talked about it as we walked away.
We thought if we did "win a prize," we'd win the lowest prize on the rung.
We knew that there was probably some "come listen to our presentation" gimmick involved in actually claiming the prize.
We both agreed that the only way we would go listen is if we won the cruise.
We then enjoyed the CBJ's 5-0 trouncing of the Flames and I forgot all about the prize.
Fast forward to just 2 weeks ago. (Did that sound funny?) Our home phone rings, and for some unknown reason I decide to answer it.
We've been talking about losing the home phone for quite sometime now. We all have cell phones, and take the larger majority of our calls on that mobile device. Initially we had kept the land line because we had a DSL connection. Recently however, we had switched to cable, (Anybody need a DSL modem?) and I have been trying to track down all the places that have our home number to change that contact information. I'd say we're about 95% of the way to having that accomplished and getting rid of the home phone altogether.
Oh, I forgot to mention what may be the most important reason we want to lose the home phone. You ready for this?
Telemarketers
Since we have started changing over our contact info just about every time the home phone rings we know it is probably a telemarketer.
And still I answered it.
Me: Hello
Caller (April) : "Hi this is April from Sundance Vacations." (I considered putting a link there, but don't want to give them the traffic.) Is this James?
Me: It is, and I am not interested.
April: Don't you want to know what you're not interested in.
Me: Trying to be nice here.
April: Well you signed up for this.
Me: Okay, tell me what I signed up for.
April then went on to relate to me that I had signed up at the hockey game, gave me the date of the hockey game, included the score of the game and said that for an hour of my time I was "guaranteed a cruise."
I repeated what she said verbatim, and my very alert wife said - "What about airfare to get where the cruise is leaving from?"
Of course, I repeated the question for April. She informed me that they had a limited number of airfares available, but that if I could come before Saturday they would have airfare for me. It was already Thursday evening. We had an activity of some sort on Friday and I worked on Saturday.
As nicely as I could I told April that I really appreciated the call and her patience, but we just weren't interested and to please give the prize to someone who either had a free schedule at a moments notice or could afford the airfare. I hung up.
About a week later there was a message on the chalkboard in our kitchen - from April.
What the heck?
The next day I called Sundance Vacations and explained to Mandy, who took the call because April was on another line, that we were not interested, could not afford the airfare, etc... and so on.
Mandy said - Oh we have airfare. We have everything. I don't know why April told you we didn't. We just need an hour of your time.
Intrigued I said "Really, airfare and everything?"
Mandy answered in the affirmative. I told her I would have to check my schedule, (i.e. run this by Netter) and I might just call her back.
Then right before she hung up Mandy said, Okay, that's a cruise for two, and airfare. All you would be responsible for is taxes.
AH HAH! I knew it. I just started to laugh. Free my Eye! (Okay, I didn't say Eye, but this is a family blog.)
I didn't go off on Mandy like I wanted to. I couldn't. I was laughing too hard. Instead I just said goodbye and hung up the phone. My might call had obviously just turned into I'm not calling, though I did share the story with Netter when I got home and we had a good laugh.
You'll never believe what happened next.
No Really.
Yep, they called back. Unfortunately for them, they called right before the Red Wings' playoff game yesterday evening - like in the last 30 seconds before I was going to answer any phone for the next 2.5 hours.
"Hi we're calling from Sundance Vacations..."
I couldn't help it. I cut them off totally saying - pretty loudly actually.
When are you people going to get it? We don't want your prize. We can't afford the prize. We can't afford the taxes. It's not free and you know it. Please take us off your list and stop calling us NOW!
I wonder if they got it?
I get that it's really my fault for even signing up in the first place, but still very frustrating, very frustrating indeed.
Cute only lasts so long
that they could not carry him everywhere. This was a growing boy after all.
They still played with him though, and gave him all the attention that they possibly could.
A few weeks after Mulligan arrived we went on our annual family trip to Camp Akita. I cautioned the ladies that I was not going to be taking care of the dog. He was their responsibility. All assured me this was not a problem.
For the first day or so of the trip, there was no problem. Grandma was there to help, and the girls enjoyed walking the dog and playing with him in the fields.
On Saturday though, all the cousins arrived for the day and K & D couldn’t wait to spend all of their time catching up, playing, fishing, boating, and so on with my nieces and nephew.
As we all know – puppies can’t just be turned off at our convenience.
Netter stayed in the game though. She continued to care for the dog and made him a priority. I admired her perseverance, but I also felt badly for her. So, I tried to help out.
We walked our boy together, and took in the mystery of his youth as he enthusiastically explored the environment.I gave the girls a pass. Annette and I did talk though about getting them back on task when we returned home. I explained again my reluctance to get close to the dog. I would help if needed I told her, but I really wanted them to “own” the dog. Annette reassured me again, telling me that she completely understood. She thanked me for helping, and also for spending some time at least getting to know Mulligan a little bit.
Upon our return home however, our, (I mean their) little boy was going to put everyone to the test.
Rock can hit a curveball I guess...
Night one - I posted my blog, sat by the fire, spent some time on the porch and went to bed. Half way through the night Annette and I heard this terrific banging coming from the corner of the cabin. The whole cabin is all of 10x12 maybe so we thought one of the girls was up and started asking loudly - "Are you okay? Why are you up? What's wrong?" etc... Suddenly we heard a tremendous thud. I jumped up and turned on the light. Both girls were sound asleep. I ventured outside and found that our trash can had been knocked over. I cursed the many cats that roam the campground, did what all men do when they are outside at night camping and went back to bed. In the morning Annette informed me that she had seen a raccoon, but didn't want to tell me during the night so as not to alarm me. Unhuh!
Okay - NBD I thought. Surely he won't come back. Wrong!!!!!!! As I was on the porch typing last night ol' Rock decides it's time to check out the trash whether I'm there or not, sneaking up on an innocent Jimmer when he was looking the other way, um at his laptop. I stomped my foot repeatedly and he went away. (Proof that there is a God?) Of course, Netter came running out to see if everything was okay and why was I stomping and I explained that Rock was a big ol' fella that needed to be scared, and I took care of it. Sure, yeah right...
He was not - tonight he ventured onto the porch while we were all still at the campfire less than 8 feet from his entry-way. Annette scared him away initially. (I do love that woman) Alas he was only away a moment. Kailey had positioned herself so she could see the porch and darned if Rock didn't come back. Holy Cow! We all jumped up to see him and he ran away. Okay, enough is enough right? No, I spotted Rock hiding under the cabin and as soon as all the girls walked away from the fire to get ready for bed, there he was again. I watched carefully as he checked out our pool supplies, but when he got near my grilling stuff, well I banged away and he ran. A man has to protect his grilling stuff right?
Only when it comes to outdoor stuff, I'm not so much the grill master, (though I really enjoy grilling) as the... well I can kill a spider pretty good. (At home, I usually curse said spider and tell him that unless he is ready to write a check for rent he has to go.)
And I married Ranger Annette. No really, my wife is all outdoors woman. She loves it. Well, except the crunchy bugs, but as I said I can kill a bug or two and curse them out for bothering my wife.
Over the years I've learned to make a pretty good fire, traverse my way through a hike or two and even to appreciate different kind of plants. Well, she tells me what type they are and I say "Yes, Honey that's really nice," and we move on. Hey if she can listen to my sports stories the least I can do is try some outdoor stuff right?
In fact, only one time before this have I not tried to go along and just deal with it. Annette's Dad was trying to teach me how to fish, cast, reel, and on and on. I was really frustrating him, and I was getting frustrated that he was frustrated. Finally, I looked at him and said "Dad, can you hit a curveball?" He looked puzzled. I said, "no really, can you hit a curveball because I can." I wasn't trying to be disrespectful because some things are just harder for some people or come more naturally for others and I wanted him to know that there were some things I was "capable of." I honestly don't know if he even heard me and it was very early in our marriage of course, and I have since learned all the things he was trying to teach me and if I may say so, make at least an adequate fisherman.
Anyway - I know tonight Netter is being nice and not laughing at me, but this is one time I could not just deal with it stand up and face the outdoors because I'm pretty sure Rock can not only hit a curveball, but can probably knock the thing right out of the park.
Typing safely from inside - Jimmer
Vacation part deux
On the way in yesterday we stopped at a local farmer's market and ran into this fella guarding the cash box. This was just the kind of mood we needed.

Later we headed for the pool and just some downtime. Ever seen a sky this blue?
(This was taken from the middle of the pool.)Unfortunately, further pics and such are going to have to wait until we get home as we are discovering that while it is nice to have WiFi at the campground, it's not exactly the fastest connection and doesn't tolerate uploading very well at all.
We'll try again tomorrow, but may have to wait until we get home. Sorry 'bout that.
It's 11:07 and the ladies are all asleep. I slept in until 12:30 today and I'm a bit of a night owl. And to answer, yes it was very nice to have an air conditioned cabin, warm blankets, and no other cares in the world to be able to sleep that late.
Today was filled with more swimming, a nice hike to and along the beaches of Lake Cowan, and more good times with family. Although we are finding out that the girls are tied to their technology a little more than we thought as once the swimming ended today things got a little "boring" for them. No worries though it's a good lesson to learn.
As I close the day I'm struck with this thought - there is nothing like a time for reflection, a time to take stock, and I have so many things running around in my head and ideas for when we get back it's actually kind of scary.
Time will tell as they say...
I'm on Vacation
Oddly enough, it doesn't take us away from our technology. They just added WiFi this year so here I am on the laptop with my new favorite thing - blogging, the girls have taken every opportunity to check their text messages, and even Annette has been fielding email and phone messages from her family as they work to plan a party to celebrate her parent's 25th wedding anniversary.
Me, I'm just checking in with the world because it's so much a part of my routine each day to check "all my sites" (thank goodness for Google Reader), 3 of 4 email accounts, and updates on the Learn & Play program at CML. Whew! Hardly time to vaca hey?!
No, I purposely made myself wait until late in the day to add this post and my Google Reader has many unread items left.
We will post some pics tomorrow, and I'm sure I'll have plenty of posts for the week as I have all these things I want to talk / post about now that I have a blog. Bet I'm not the first guy eh?! Good thing Netter has started a blog to keep everyone up with the practical side of our lives - check her out at practicallynetter.blogspot.com.
Now it's time to enjoy the fire and my girls.
Meet Jimmer
- Jim Brochowski
- Daddy, Honey, Coach, Captain. I have an awesome wife and three wonderful daughters. Hockey player, golfer, aspiring writer. Retired from the library after 30 years of public service. My daughters let me think I run the MJB Foundation. I am the Captain of Brian's Bail Bonds Hockey - a position I feel privileged to hold even if it does only mean I make the lines 12 seconds before each game - That's not 15 mind you, but 12 exactly. I enjoy a good conversation with family and friends. I'd like to think I'm "Fiercely" (thanks Christian) loyal. I give when I have and I hold on when I don't. My family is everything to me.
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