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Today, as we prep for The MJB Foundation’s Bowl for Joy on Saturday if I may, I’d like to share a story of a different way to support children and young people with an altogether different challenge.
Tomorrow, Tuesday February 8, 2011 is Purple Pledge Day. Not sure what that is? You can check it out here.
From the website: On November 13th, 2010, Daron Richardson took her own life. She was just 14 years old. Join us in inspiring conversations and showing support not only for Daron Richardson's family, but for all our young people who suffer in silence from the pain and stigma of mental Illness. Register your school or organization and Wear Purple (Daron's favourite colour) on February 8th.
Last Thursday when I encountered this thought on Twitter an idea started to form in my head.
You saw the smoke right?
What seems like years ago I took charge of buying new hockey jerseys for my Tuesday night C League Hockey Team, Brian’s Bail Bonds. I took a poll, made some suggestions and sent off the order. We were all excited, and then the jerseys arrived. We thought we were ordering jerseys with purple as an accent color. What we got was just slightly different. See...
Purple is one of my favorite colors so I have to confess I really like the jerseys. Most of the fellas? Not so much. Though we had waited almost 10 years to order the purple jerseys, we had new black jerseys only 3 years later, and the guys have been teasing me about the purple jerseys ever since.
From time to time we’ve had to pull out the “purple jerseys,” for example, when our colors were too close to our opponents and we were the visiting team so we had to find an alternative. I always heard about it. All in fun, but I heard about it nonetheless.
This season we are once again getting new jerseys, white ones to take the place of the “purple ones,” which as you can tell from the picture are primarily white. I have to admit I was a little sad about this. As I said, I really like the purple jersey and over time I’ve come to enjoy the banter that goes along with pulling them out every so often. Still, it does seem like it’s time to put them away. But do we really have to just discard them?
It turns out, we don’t. The send off will be a little nicer. The retirement of the purple jersey will have a very important purpose after all.
As you can surmise from the tweet Daron Richardson is the daughter of Luke Richardson former Columbus Blue Jacket Captain. So with tomorrow being my team’s night to play hockey, I sent the fellas the link to the website along with this message:
“We're all hockey players. A lot of us have kids. This affects kids and families and, well a lot of things and folks in so many ways. Let's wear the purple jerseys, (as many as we have) on Tuesday one last time for Luke Richardson and his daughter Daron...Maybe we can take a picture and then retire the darn things and I'll feel like maybe they were worth it after all, and you can all stop busting my chops about 'em.”
Of course, because they really are a great group of guys The Brian’s Bail Bonds Family was immediately on board with the idea. So, tomorrow night at 9:30 at the Chiller North we’ll take to the ice one last time donning the purple jerseys. We’d love it if you could join us, but if you can’t or you don’t think you can bear to watch C League Hockey we all would completely understand. We’re just happy our wives and families come and watch us... sometimes. :-)
Please take some time tomorrow and remember Daron and her family, give your child, teenager, or significant other a hug and share a good and positive thought for the many families and young people affected by mental illness.
Thanks!
To answer the question - yes, I feel much better. I also feel great about the reaction to yesterday’s post. You never know what to expect when you put out your first profanity laced tirade, (at least that’s what it seemed like at first) for folks to read. But you all made me understand that it wasn’t that at all, but instead was an important turning point, something to be well, proud of, and something to build on. Thank you!
So here goes - This is where I’m trying to go. This is what I’m trying to accomplish.
Every year, at least since I’ve been following his work Chris Brogan comes up with three words that will be his “guiding pillars” for what he will focus on in the coming year. Like me, Chris isn’t so much a fan of resolutions. He doesn’t think they help him very much. I kind of feel the same. Your mileage may vary. That’s okay.
In any case, Chris uses his words as a lighthouse, (his word) for his actions and efforts in the coming year. I do something like this with what I call True Intent, (Just scroll down a little if you want to read about True Intent. In reality that post is way too long, but it was my first year blogging so...) but that’s more about relationships and understanding other’s actions than it is about my own actions and my own goals for myself.
So this year, rather than saying something like: “Wow, that’s great that Chris does that. I really admire his work ethic,” I decided to come up with my own words. So I commented on Chris’ post.
“All prefaced by change:
Career, Finance, Health - I keep talking about these, but never focus on them. Until they are fixed the rest is meaningless. Once they are fixed, the rest is everything.”
Those are my 3 words… and that’s where I started, and where I’m starting again after the temporary setback I talked about yesterday.
Do you have 3 words? Do you do resolutions?
What do you think?
Be forewarned - this is not your usual Jimmer post.
No, today I’m a little warm, a little hot around the edges, a little well, exasperated. No, actually I’m just a touch pissed off, and baby I’m here to rant.
I came into January this year with great intentions. I’m not a big resolution guy, but I’m also tired of seemingly always talking about and thinking about the same changes I need to make in my life. So, as January dawned on this year of our Lord 2011 I was pretty psyched to tackle some action items and make some real changes, some real adjustments, and... and...
It’s February 1st and I don’t feel like I have accomplished one damn thing, and I’ve only got one thing to say about it.
Ready?
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!
Alright I almost feel better. Thank you.
Now, I’m not going to be deterred. I am going to stay on track I am going to make those major changes THIS YEAR! I will talk about all of them and about my assessment in the coming days. I will roll it all out there and keep working, but I had to take this pause, this moment. I just got back to some kind of normal yesterday and while I spent the day hunkered down, being comfy in my fav sweatshirt I also resolved that it would be the last day I would let weirdness even think about being in charge. I am in control, and I am tired of screwing around. Last night when I got home, I got back to work and I’m staying on that path.
I just need a couple things:
I need my dog to be healthy. He is the best, smartest, most communicative dog I have ever had. Hey Big Man upstairs or whoever is in charge - Mulligan didn’t do anything to you. If you are pissed at me, take it out on me, but please stop fucking with my dog. Can I say that? Well, I just did.
I need to stop being free.
From now on outside of my house there are only a handful of people who get free tech support from Jimmer’s computer shop. They are My Mother-In-Law, My good friend’s parents who are a lot like my parents and / or have at least shared and taught me that much, and my nephew because he listens to what I tell him about his computer and doesn’t say “Can you help me fix this? You’re doing it wrong.” Everybody else, pony up. No more free. No more 12 packs paying for 2+ years of tech support, no more of me making time during the middle of the week when I am busy as hell and then having the shit break the next flipping day anyway, and then when I say “what happened?” you go “I don’t know.” I can’t work with that. The computer just didn’t suddenly start or stop doing something. You want to use the Force when you’re using your computer that’s fine. I am not Obi Wan Kenobi and you are not Luke fuckin Skywalker. You want me to help you? Pony up! Somewhere between $70 and $150 bucks an hour depending how bad you broke that shit. Not my problem. Sorry. You need another solution - Go find Yoda and see if his ass might be available.
Speaking, (pun intended) of not being free - I’m somehow, (happily) booked into 3 speaking gigs this spring and while I appreciate the opportunity and love to speak with an audience I also think these will be the last 3 that are free. These folks gave me my chance(s) and got me going so I’m not going to change up now and charge them or be anything but grateful to them for letting me come speak, but - I’m not giving anymore away after this. I don’t know how much it will cost, probably more than tech help but less than a family of 4’s monthly grocery bill. Building talks takes time and resources that I just don’t have to give away anymore. I love that folks value my experience and abilities. I just can’t keep giving things away. Is that selfish? Probably.
Sorry.
If I may, I do have a couple more. Hey, I said it was a rant.
Here we go...
Stop mailing me shit I didn’t ask for. I don’t just toss. If you sent it to me I am foolish enough to think it might have some value. Of course I’m finding out most of it doesn’t have any value at all and it is pissing me off.
As such, I’ve got new mail rules.
If I owe you - mail me. If I know you - mail me. If you owe me - mail me. If you want to play, (MJB related) mail me.
Everybody else - Knock that shit off.
Politicians - don’t send me a list of crap you think you did or you think the other guy didn’t. I read the news everyday - pretend I’m Missouri and show me. Thanks.
Advertisers - You want to sell me your stuff? I am plugged in probably 15 - 20 hours a day. Go where I am. Wow me! Be newsworthy. You can pretend I’m Missouri too. Just get the hell out of my mailbox.
And while I’m at it - stay off my phone. Don’t call me unless you absofuckinglutely have to. I HATE the phone. 5 email accounts feed into my Blackberry - use one of ‘em. Text me. Let me know you want to get together and talk in person, maybe over a beverage - I’m in. Don’t call me to talk on the damn phone. While you’re figuring out how to say goodbye - most of us have accomplished at least 6 or 7 other meaningful things.
I like to talk to one person on the phone. I married her.
Don’t misunderstand. I love people. I just hate the damn phone.
Finally, I’ve got one that’s kinda work related.
If I’m helping somebody else, Wait.Your.Fuckin’Turn. My name is not “Excuse me.” You are not more important than the person I am helping. You are just being rude. Knock.It.Off!
Whew!
As I read those above paragraphs a part of me is proud and a part of me is appalled, but here’s the thing - at some point you have to worry about taking care of you. My family and I sacrifice a ton of time together. I sacrifice a lot of free time to do things for people for free and I just can’t do that anymore.
It’s not really about money. It is however about feeling valued, about feeling like more than just “a nice guy.” Hell, I’ll admit it; it’s about feeling some sense of self worth.
Probably all very selfish, but yeah I feel better. I’m tired of treading water and always saying I’m gonna. I’m tired of wasting time. I need to find out if there is something else, if there is something more. I need to actually accomplish something before it’s too late, and I need some time to do it.
Fair enough?
Seems like its about damn time doesn’t it?
Or did the rant just piss you off? Be honest. I can take it.
Not many folks have asked me about my “break” for lack of a better word. What was it that got my attention? I’m assuming most think it was Netter pulling me back to reality and making me go on vacation. In truth, that was part of it. But it wasn’t what got my attention.
I’m not going to lie. Work right now is stressful. There was a levy. There is a lot of change. There are some challenging customer interactions.
In November this all came to a head for me, and there was this perfectly nice customer who I had helped earlier in the day tracking me down on my way back from the hospital coffee shop.
“Hey! Excuse me! Hey! Mr. Library Man! Hey!”
I’d like to say that I didn’t hear him, but in truth I was trying hard to ignore him. But not just him, everything. Absolutely everything. I wasn’t on the clock. I was trying to take a break and he was tracking me down on “my time,” a time when I was already feeling overwhelmed.
Finally, my conscience kicked in and I wheeled around. “Do you need something?” I asked.
He had a few questions about some local services. I knew a few of the answers, but I still was clearly coming across as “you’re bothering me.” I knew it, but I didn’t care. When we were finished, I said: “Sorry Man. I guess I didn’t hear you.” His reply: "You heard me,” he said, “You just weren’t listening.”
I walked a few steps and suddenly felt the shame wash over me. “What kind of incredibly selfish person am I? What is wrong with me?” I thought.
I ran after the man and approached him with my hand extended.
“You’re right” I said, as I shook his hand. “I’ve got a lot going on right now, and I’m kind of stressed out, but that’s no excuse. I’m sorry.”
He looked puzzled, but he shook my hand and said: “I accept your apology.”
I encouraged him to come up to the 3rd floor of the library where I knew we had material on some of the services he was asking about. He said he would, and then I left to return to work.
I was just beginning my assessment. I just didn’t know it yet.
I know it now.
Check back, and I’ll tell you about it.
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You saw the smoke right?
